Wednesday

December 31, 2008 An New Key For A New Year

A New Key For A New Year

I want to say I have had a terribly, good, awesome, wonderful, mournful, confused, dark, enlightened, dismal, gleeful, exhausted, energetic, weak, strong, plentiful, productive, meager, scarce, myopic, eye-opening, searching, satiated (also with food), famished (not about food, as I can see), cynical, optimistic, gray, kaleidoscopic, colorful, loved, loving, lived, living year and I expect 2009 will be the same. What an amazing life!! Like in birth pangs with 'joyous anticipation' or 'joyful expecting or waiting' which was discussed at LM yesterday. It really is a beautiful life!! Another key J.S.!!!

Romans 8:23 These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. 24 That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. 25 But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. ----The Message

'Breathe, feel, and breathe again'...That's Life!!!

Please have a safe New Year's week so next year we can continue this journey of searching, supporting and loving together.

Tuesday

December 30, 2008 Female Gladiator

Female Gladiator

Archeological Evidence of a Female Gladiator

The rise of female professional sports is not a new phenomenon. Women once competed in the gladiatorial arena though not without controversy. It is known that the Roman emperor Septimius Severus, who ruled from 193 to 211 CE, allowed women to fight as gladiators but banned the tradition in 200 CE. Recently, the remains of a young woman, approximately 20 years old, were found in Britain. Discovered in a Roman cemetery in the area of London known as Southwark and excavated in 1996, archaeologists uncovered the remains of the young woman buried with several items that may identify her as a female gladiator.

Read on if you wish:
http://ablemedia.com/ctcweb/consortium/gladiator6.html

This is not fantasy, this is a real life story.

The battle is always raging and I must always remember what is really going on. I get on my full armor, which is light as a feather and perfectly tailored for me, and I now face what I've been in training for all this time. In this battle I'm invincible and all I need to do is 'stand' as I watch the enemy fall all around me, it my Lord and His angels fighting for me So in this world I can dream dreams as a never aging :-) woman gladiator, I fight with a Sword that cannot be conquered. And I can do it in jeans and t-shirt and tennis shoes. How great is that?! So if the Lord should tarry, when my remains are found 2000 years later in an archeological dig, they will also find this female gladiator with her Sword.

A gladiator is a slave, oh yes I am and it's my choice, to the One Who is fighting for me.

Ephesians 6:12 This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. 13 Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. 14 Truth, righteousness, 15 peace, 16 faith, 17 and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. 18 In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out. ----The Message


http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3209/3146424235_f8fe441b39_m.jpg

Monday

December 29, 2008 No Business Deals Needed

No Business Deals Needed

Romans 4:14 If those who get what God gives them only get it by doing everything they are told to do and filling out all the right forms properly signed, that eliminates personal trust completely and turns the promise into an ironclad contract! That's not a holy promise; that's a business deal. 15 A contract drawn up by a hard-nosed lawyer and with plenty of fine print only makes sure that you will never be able to collect. But if there is no contract in the first place, simply a promise - and God's promise at that - you can't break it. 16 This is why the fulfillment of God's promise depends entirely on trusting God and his way, and then simply embracing him and what he does. God's promise arrives as pure gift. That's the only way everyone can be sure to get in on it, those who keep the religious traditions and those who have never heard of them. For Abraham is father of us all. He is not our racial father - that's reading the story backwards. He is our faith father. The Message

Business deals I don't need, what I need to hold on to - the promise of God, which is a priceless gift. In trusting Him, He will guide me all the way Home. I thank Him that I don't need to perform or pretend or retreat in shame for anything in my life. He holds nothing against me. What a life!! That is - An Amazing Life when all the depth of my being is revealed (the good, the bad, and the ugly) and anything I have done or didn't do has nothing to do with how much He loves me.

I cannot negotiate a business deal with God, He has given me a gift that cannot be purchased, bartered or earned. Whatever comes to me in this life comes freely; no contracts needed.

His good, pleasing and perfect will for my life - 'priceless'.

Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. 2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. 3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

(Along with NKJ, NIV, NAS and I am loving the present day vernacular in The Message. So if any of you happen to have an extra copy laying around that you aren't using, remember me. : - )

Who Am I? Casting Crowns

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CT7x3VnrqbA

Sunday

December 28, 2008 I'm Listening

I'm Listening

John 14:4 You know the way to the place where I am going." 5 Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?" 6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him." 8 Philip said, "Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us." 9 Jesus answered: "Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, 'Show us the Father'? 10 Don't you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my own. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. 11 Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves.

Lord, I seek You more that I may know the Father. Hold me close, let me hear Your voice as I seek You above all things. You are the Way and the Truth and the Life. There is no other.

Somehow in the monontony and the mundane of life if I'm not aware the answer becomes clouded by circumstances that are blinding.There is no circumstance that He does not see, no prayer that He does not hear, no heart that He does not love. I must seek Jesus, He is my answer everytime.

Added thought
The Lord can make a donkey speak :-0

Saturday

December 27, 2008 Another Detoxing

Another Detoxing

This is from an article on detoxing which includes removing emotional toxins. If you want to read the entire section it's at: http://www.newswithviews.com/Ciola/greg6.htm

8.) Emotional And Spiritual Cleanse: The two most neglected areas of research in disease epidemiology are the unseen levels of spirit and soul. In addition to physical toxins, there are emotional, as well as spiritual toxins, such as suppressed negative feelings and trauma from past experiences that become imbedded or held in pressure points within the body. To fully establish and experience real health within the whole person, these must also be cleansed. By removing emotional toxins (i.e. anger, hatred, bitterness, stress, anxiety, unforgiveness, worry, fear, etc.), and by purging the body of built up contaminants, you can allow the whole body to heal.

All my life growing up anger had been suppressed (mostly part of my generation and especially those before me) and as a child when it showed up we were punished even for small expressions of anger. At that time all anger was seen as defiant, intense or openly expressed anger was seen as demonic within the church realm.

We are only beginning to receive information to distinguish between healthy expression and destructive expression of anger. Anger openly expressed had been grouped together into one category 'innappropriate' as a more polite definition. So how do we release anger? I am seeing that having a safe place, first and most important with those who love you unconditionally, those who will not stop your expression, but will give you the opportunity for deep hurt to come out. I am saying this because yesterday I experienced this again. Coming together with such love and honor that deep healing occurs as we are able to see ourselves in each other, and in that honoring, pain, anger, fear are allowed to be expressed. It is liberating, freeing, and as the article and research is now discovering this purging releases imbedded toxins that wreak havoc on our physical bodies.

I thank God for Love Machine, thank you all for allowing this safe place that is so rare. Lead the way for others to see this amazing healing that is occurring within all of us.

Honestly, I don't have any answers and thank God for that only He does. What I share is deep searching of my life. This is my life and I'm loving myself, all of me.

Friday

December 26, 2008 Remembering Love

Remembering Love

Romans 13:7 Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. 8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. 9 The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." 10 Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

I am convinced that Love is the answer. It has been the lack of Love in this World that has brought on so many problems, first in families (mine included). How is it that something so beautiful can be so feared and resisted? Well, for one Satan certainly doesn't want anyone to experience something so glorious and wonderful sent straight from God. He has gone to great lengths to keep God's Word all about the Law and condemnation. I can read scripture over now and regardless of any sentence, chapter or book, the final revelation is God's love for us first and His desire for us to love each other. As I am diving more into what is deeper into my heart, which is to have a heart more like His, and I'm not afraid of the deeper love expressed, and to let compassion rise up.

Well, we had a beautiful Christmas Eve, Ken, Jesse,(Josh was on his way in from Austin) Ken's sister Debbie and I went to my sister's home to be with my mom, my 4 sisters, my brother and their spouses, nieces and nephews, great nieces and great nephews almost 40 of us all together. Some said they could hear dad's voice when my brother or my nephews spoke, he was missed as we felt and remembered him. Then Christmas day, it was a quiet day with 5 of us, Ken, Josh, Jesse and Ken's sister Debbie and myself. Nothing extravagant or elaborate, we had dinner together and beautiful time just being together.

The simplicity is extraordinary, His Love is real within the depths of our hearts, it is here we connect with our God, Abba, Savior and Spirit and each other. All transformation and healing is here.

Wednesday

December 24, 2008 Slowing down in order to connect with hearts

Slowing down in order to connect with hearts

For a few days now I've been thinking about how fast we live. We drive fast, eat fast, talk fast, plan fast, we have fast meetings, fast food, fast computers (except mine :-)), fast cars, to fill up the fast passing days, our minds run fast in order to get to the next fast appointment, the frenzy, well... especially this time of year. I am guilty, and those of you who know me can see that I am slowing down (not because of age, yet, thank God!) out of my desire for more purposeful one-on-one connecting, in order to allow time necessary to really love those in my life and also allow the necessary time for them to love me, which cannot happen in a fast passing whirlwind, but only in cherished, honored, attentive time. In the slowing down I've found something far more valuable than gold, being with my family and friends, heart to heart. The slowing down has allowed me to be more alert and more alive, to listen more to what God is saying to me, 'love unconditionally'. And with this there are no elaborate decorations, spending or planning, just beautiful time to enjoy each other, and we will.

I can't help it. This song brings back such great memories as Ken, Josh, Jesse, Ken's sister Debbie and I every year would travel to be together with Ken's sister Lisa. We would leave early every Christmas morning and sing songs along with the radio, then this timeless song would come on and we would have a blast singing it. Jesse with his amazing voice at age 3 could sing in key!, then sometime afterwards Josh, at age 4, decided he wanted count all the way to LaGrange TX (which is 90 miles away) and would get to 1000 and would keep going...1001, 1002... (no telling how far he would have gotten if we hadn't stopped him).

We wish you and your loved ones a Blessed by God, Love Filled, Safe Christmas, one that doesn't race by with all the fake stuff of what this is not about. But one filled with joy as you connect with those you love, as we all remember the One we are living for and His Unconditional Love He gave for this World.

Ken, Teresa, Josh and Jesse

We love you! Sing along with us...you'll be surprised....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5vQgKRmnuU&feature=related

Tuesday

December 23, 2008, Ready To Go

Ready To Go

He touches my feet and gives this foot soldier a gentle nudge and I fall down. I go out tired from boot camp and know it is only by His power I even move a single step in this life. I offered myself for this battle. I don't know what tomorrow will be (even though the calendar says Christmas eve), much less the next minute when I get to the end of this email. I do know my heart is willing and all I must do is stand still, even in this crazy, mind altering season of busyness.

So when you see me marching to a different drum than the world is beating don't think I've lost my mind. I may not be ready, God knows, but I'm willing and He will help me finish.

And all I did was ask. So where do I go from here Lord?

So this doesn't seem the usual Christmastime cheer, but it is under all the colorful lights and decorations that are everywhere. Searching in a stable of all places, I found my King.

Talk about a perfect song.
A Soldier's King, Kenny Rogers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQMli3N3T8w

And all I did was ask. So where do I go from here Lord?

Monday

December 22, 2008 Protection and Forgiveness

Protection and Forgiveness

9 more days to December 31, 2008, or 357, 2008 blog entries. Within each is my life's story, some deeper than words can say. Thank you for both the encouragement and questions, all have kept my heart in check, to not let anything go to my head.

I started these entries at the time my family began the journey of coming back together after Ken and I were separated for 4 months. On Christmas day Ken, Josh, Jesse and I knelt to pray along a string facing each other, representing a line that Jesus drew in the sand when the woman was caught in adultery and about to be stoned to death. Our separation wasn't about adultery but there was accusing and throwing stones at each other. It was a new beginning for us just as Jesus protected the woman in sin, He also protects us and says 'to forgive each other'.

The journey to forgive daily continues and will as long as we live, within our own families and with friends. Perceptions (because if we allow our hearts to see, each person operates sometimes blindly out of his or her own deep hurts as we do) of being wronged, great or small, this is where forgiveness begins and ends everyday. Before the sun goes down we face the ones who hurt us along that line of His loving protection that He draws before us and we ask 'who are we that we should hold anything against anyone?"

Especially in this season, when family and friends come closer together, we can search our hearts in our reacting and responding to each other, whether silent or spoken. Then we can remember the line in the sand, which our hand did not draw. It was drawn by the One Who saved us, He is pure Love and came to forgive all the sins of the world.

Sunday

December 21, 2008 Have A Safe & Joyful Holiday

Have A Safe & Joyful Holiday

The Holiday season is typically regarded as extending from late November to early January and includes Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and New Year’s Day. Using the latest 3 years of data, the yearly estimated fire loss for December 24, 25, and 26 is estimated at over $80 million. Each year, these losses result from an estimated 11,600 fires that required a fire department response. These fires cause an annual average of approximately 250 injuries and 40 fatalities. USFA Fire Statistics

This is alarming and I guess my reason for adding this may be more a buffer for my own personal alarm system, to say to you, I love you and please have a safe Holiday, and a joyful, time with family and friends. I pray that we can slow down and not be stressed in the many preparations of this season, but truly 'be' with each of our family and friends. To connect with each heart. All the decorations, the food, the plans will never be important compared to our hearts coming together.

Saturday

December 20, 2008 WYSIWYG

WYSIWYG

WYSIWYG, 'What You See Is What You Get'. The technology over the years in computers has been mind-boggling. Being in the graphics industry alone watching how the hardware became more compact, the software more complex is more than this creative mind can fathom. Going from monitors of single line coded type, to black and white monitors using the same code for pages of typesetting, to color WYSIWYG. I guess you can imagine for an artist and the printing industry to be able to see in full color exactly what would be printed without cutting and pasting was a technical marvel not to mention the editing and spell check capabilities (some things still need people skills :-). Anyway, this is my condensed explanation of the major changes during my work in the industry as an artist/designer. My question, 'what's next?'

'What's next?' is about my personal life in that world....I could lie to you and talk about how perfect it was to have an in-home business, the perfect set up as a wife and mother, after all that is what the world wanted women to think. Now looking back to have been fully connected with the hearts of my family would have been more precious than anything my work produced.

So Connie, to answer your question from 20 years ago when you called together the group of what you said were successful business women to share our lives, I will answer now because I couldn't have been 'Getting Real' back then. 'My business life got in the way of my family. It was only to acquire more stuff and nothing outside of my family could have ever been more important than they were, and if I had been able to see it then, I would have stopped all the diverted attention away so I could have been fully present, that is in, real loving, open heart, vulnerable sharing time with my family.

The purpose for my work, was to 'acquire', I can say, it really wasn't worth it and how crazy it was. So 'what you see is what you get?' No, because airbrushing, touch-ups and manipulation of life scenes can be deceiving to the observer. Now it's what I don't see, that is, the useless, unnecessary stuff, that has allowed me to find the path to my life's door, to that clear opening to what I do see, a beautiful life with my family. My question, 'what's next?'.... pure joy and bliss!! Thank You, God!!

Friday

December 19, 2008 Speaking For Us

I had something to write this morning and then I was reading this version in The Message and it speaks so clear what my heart is feeling. You can see how you bless Ken and I. Just substitute 'me' for 'us or 'my' for 'our'. It is a beautiful thing when the first thing you read in the morning is exactly what you are feeling.

10 I'm glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess - happy that you're again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. 11 Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. 12 I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. 13 Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. 14 I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me - it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles. Philippians 4


http://farm1.static.flickr.com/77/158070855_899a2ea3ae_m.jpg

I love this song.
For two days this song has been in my heart (use to say in my head, now I see the difference).

Thursday

December 18, 2008 A Bunch of Grapes

A Bunch of Grapes

I looked this morning for this and couldn't find it thinking it was at the end of the book but rather it was in the middle. Now returning I want to share with you this beautiful story. I may have sent this out before. Ken and I were talking this morning about this story. It sparked a wonderful memory for me so I wanted to share it with you.

"There's an old story from the desert fathers and mothers, people of deep faith who found it necessary to go into the desert to find God. They lived in little clusters of communities (much the way many of our communities now live, only our desert is the inner cities and abandoned places of the empire). Someone had brought one of the communities a bundle of grapes as a gift. That was quite a delicacy, maybe sort of like giving someone chocolate truffles today. They got so excited and what happened next is fascinating. Rather than devour them all, they didn't eat a single one. They passed them on to the next community to enjoy. And that community did the same thing. And eventually, those grapes made it through every community and back to the first community without being eaten. Everyone simply wanted the others to experience the joy of the gift. I'm not sure what ever ended up happening with those grapes. I think maybe they had a big party, or maybe they made some wine. But no doubt God was happy. One of the quotes on my wall reminds me of this daily. "The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them away." Irresistible Revolution, Shane Clairborne. pg.167

WOW!!!

Wednesday

December 17, 2008 Giving Your Life Away

So what is this 'giving your life away' thing?

I do know one thing in order to do it there is much dying to self, there is sometimes losing everything you have especially when 'everything' gets in the way. There are bloody knees and wet tear soaked collars. There's wrinkled pages in The Book of Life that has nostrils. There's kicking and screaming and finally a net that needs to be left on the beach shore. Your reward for now is bread (out of this world bread) instead of a rock and a fish (someone to love) instead of a snake. You get marching orders with your Armor and Sword to go out and be ready in a moments notice. The battle is won by feeding your enemy, loving your enemy, praying for those who persecute you. Your armor is as light as His yoke and His Sword you are carrying divides the Soul and the Spirit (woah! or is that ouch?), joints and marrow. You get eyes to see with (but not to look at circumstances) and an exposed heart to feel with.

I do know that giving my life away, there is everything to gain.

Monday

December 15, 2008 FW: Loving our daughters

Loving our daughters

I am forwarding this from Jim to you. This is so unbelievably beautiful. Women you may relate to this father and if not it was and still is your desire as an adult woman. Fathers you may relate if you have a daughter and if you have not been blessed with a daughter, you have daughters everywhere because every girl or woman who missed the beauty of this father has a void and is searching for this father through you. Daughter's lives depend on this father. Some daughters experienced this father, some never had this father or a father at all. This is the father who is an example of the love from our Father in Heaven. An additional hidden beauty isn't said here but is a father's nature who has this kind of love, never letting his daughter forget he is human and not God, and that is when a father is able to say, 'Forgive me' and in this also a daughter finds safety, love and healing. Even after a daughter is grown or gone, or a father is gone, the relationship of a father and daughter never ceases. The communication remains open within both hearts bringing heaven and earth together. How do I know these things? This is what my heart knows as a daughter.

Here is Jim Spivey's blog from this morning. There is no doubt Jim's full desire is to be this father to his daughter. What an honor it is to hear his heart. As you can see Anne is Jim's wife. I hope and pray this song and writing can be a constant reminder and healing
for us all.

From: jspivey@revolutionconsulting.comTo: jspivey@revolutionconsulting.comSubject: Loving our daughtersDate: Mon, 15 Dec 2008 05:33:01 -0600

Anne sent me this really cool song late Saturday night, as she was up finding iPod music:
Daughters, by John Mayer

I know a girlShe puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a mazeWhere all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me
Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
Oh, you see that skin?It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
Cleaning up the mess he made
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
Boys, you can breakYou'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strongAnd boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A womans good, good heart
On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

And then I found the music video to go with it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f38Ne96R3iE
And then I found this incredible piece of writing to go along with all of it. This is beautiful stuff.

Enjoy, Dads and Daughters!:

The Father-Daughter Relationship

THE ESSENTIAL, HEALTHY BOND BETWEEN A FATHER AND HIS DAUGHTER

AND

UNDERSTANDING A DAUGHTER'S INNATE NEED FOR HER FATHER'S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, BEING ABLE TO TRUST HIM AND FEEL SAFE, SECURE AND STABLE WITH HIM AT ALL TIMES.

Anonymous
A father teaches his daughter what men are and what sort of treatment she can expect from them. He gives her the first inkling of what men will think of her.
As a child, a daughter will vie for her father’s attention, bask in his praise, rebel against his authority, hide from his wrath, cry over his rejection, feel warm and cozy in his arms, and enjoy his presence and "manliness."
A father’s praise and specific comments about her intelligence, appearance, and skills, when it comes to just about anything, are crucial to her feeling good about her self and her sense of being feminine.
Initially, a father is the principal transmitter of culturally-based information and attitudes about what is masculine and feminine and gender-based roles.
A daughter must be given the tools and skills necessary for her survival in the world of tomorrow. Some of these a mother will certainly provide, but most are provided by her father. These tools and skills are paramount to a daughter’s self-image, safety, and self-sufficiency in the world she must grow up in.
A father must be present; he must be capable; and he must therefore develop a plan of action for building the house of self-esteem in which his daughter will reside. He needs a blueprint and the proper tools to help her forge her way and leave her mark on the world. Above all else however, a father must provide the foundation of unconditional love and trust. Regardless of the daughter’s shortcomings and regardless of her age, she must always be able to live her life freely knowing there is a soft, safe, place of love to land whenshe takes a wrong turn in life and falls flat on her face.
It is crucial that a father’s positive, loving impact is made and secured from the very beginning; that he seeks ways to bond with his daughter and not just leave things to the mother. His words of advice and wisdom will ring truer if he has made the time to be with her from day one. The diapers changed, the stories read, the games played, and the hugs and kisses delivered all become deposits in her bank account of love and acceptance. With these deposits a daughter will grow to believe she is truly special in her father’s eyes. A balance of warmth, structure, and discipline will provide her with a healthy grounding for her self-esteem. A father becomes important either by his presence (both physical and emotional) or by his absence. The choice is his.
It is also important to understand that the Father-Daughter bond doesn’t dissipate at a pre-appointed age, or because of some specific purpose. It is a relationship that lasts a lifetime. Regardless of the age, the father is always the father and the daughter is always the daughter. The bond and the love that exists between father and daughter is no less when the daughteris 50 than when she was 5.
A daughter’s sense of worth as a woman and as a person is deeply rooted in her experiences with her father. She will re-enact her struggles with her father with every man that comes into her life. The father who is absent (in any way) influences his daughter to develop a craving for approval and attentionfrom him and from other men.
How do men truly feel during the experience of being with their daughters? The bonding and connection, the unconditional love, the ease of accepting and appreciating the feminine beauty of girls is a contrast to the demands he experiences in his relations with adult females. For him, having a daughter offers a profound source of joy and pain, pride and disappointment. With his daughter he can experience the importance of sharing what a man knows about how to survive and succeed in life. He may stress the importance of physical strength, love of career, competition, being the best, developing tenacity, perseverance, endurance and stamina. He can let his girl know what boys and men enjoy in a relationship and how that differs from what her mother might suggest to her.
Fathers can and do make a huge difference when it comes to parenting their daughters. If he wants to equip her with self-esteem and psychological health, an awareness of how to achieve her potential, he will need to incorporate the information offered here in order to accomplish his task. And, this task is a never-ending one. Loving and parenting their daughters doesn’t end at a specific age or time. A daughter will always look to her father as the one man in her life that will always love her unconditionally and the one man in her life that will always be there when she needs him.
If a father wants his daughter to be capable, talented, competent, to feel beautiful and to believe in herself, he must value her talents and trust her insights. And his behavior, not just his words, will be her guide.
A daughter’s father will give her the edge she needs in order to feel self-love and the confidence necessary to meet the rigors of personal, relational, and professional achievement head-on.

A FATHER’S OATH TO HIS DAUGHTER

I wish to love you unconditionally today and all the days to come, regardless of what you do, or do not do, and regardless of what you accomplish or do not accomplish.I wish to love and support you as you live your life, but I wish to not spare you from the lessons in life you must learn. I wish to always be honest and truthful with you, expecting by my example, the same from you.I wish to not interfere with your right to grow, and will allow you to make mistakes and to learn from them. I wish to guide you, doing my best in allowing you to find your own way, supporting your right to privacy and independence, doing my best never to give you reasons to be afraid - afraid of verbal or physical rage, emotional rejection, shame, dishonor, guilt, or the threat of my withholding my love from you. I wish you to always feel safe and unafraid in our relationship, especially unafraid of being honestwith me, regardless of the circumstance.I wish to not ever be demeaning as you attempt to understand things you are unfamiliar with. I wish to do my best to help teach you things you do not understand. I wish to also never degrade your interests, or make fun of those activities that make you happy, unless they are activities that could bring you or others harm.I wish to teach you discipline and the importance of respect, kindness, and structure in your life and in relationships with others. I wish to also utilize every opportunity to instruct, build character, and teach responsibility, and assist you in finding solutions to problems that arise in your life.I wish to teach you that physical-beauty is secondary to inward-beauty, character, self-respect, and experiencing the true, spiritual meaning of your life. Appearance can be important, but your kindness, character, integrity, and finding your own personal spiritual path and relationship with God are
much more important.
I wish to guide the development of your self-esteem, teaching you that it is only necessary to measure-up to God's design of you and your own highest standards for yourself. I wish to encourage you to take calculated risks, meet new challenges, overcome obstacles and deal with the real world, realistically and with common-sense. Although you will always be "my little girl," I wish to respect you as a woman in the years to come, respecting your decisions, delighting in your successes, and helping you through your failures, as you will allow me to, and provided you are not neglecting your responsibilities.
I will always love you unconditionally, could never be prouder or feel luckier than any other man on Earth to have you as my daughter, regardless of your accomplishments or failures, virtues or shortcomings. And, as long as it is within my power, I promise that I will ALWAYS be your sanctuary andsoft place to fall should such a time become important or necessary.
Most importantly and above all, this Oath, taken in God’s Holy Presence, I PROMISE NEVER to abandon you, withhold my love from you, shame you, dishonor you, or deny you as my own, for any reason.

Signed this the __________ day of ___________________ ,
______________.

Father's Signature:
__________________________________________________________

And as I just finished putting this together, Anne carried Heather up to my office and asked if I would sit with my little girl for a while, because she couldn't sleep from all of her coughing, and the coughing was occurring as she was lying down, and she needed to sit up for a little while, and my answer was, "Gladly!", and so Heather and I went downstairs and put the lights on on the Christmas Tree, and we sat in the massage chair together, taking in how lucky we are to have each other. It was sheer bliss, and it let me feel and understand the importance of today's message like nobody's business.

Sunday

December 14, 2008 What Would Happen If:

What would happen if:

for Christmas families didn't go on a shopping frenzy to buy expensive or even inexpensive gifts?

for Christmas there were no decorations?

for Christmas there were no TV commercials enticing the best sales to spend and cause debt that takes a year or more to pay?

for Christmas there was no pressure to do any of these things? But instead be together in a beautiful sharing and intimate way.

What if Christmas was like all the other 364 days of the year? Or the other 364 days were like Christmas?

Here's how it looks to me, and I'm feeling this craziness, wildness and sickness with all the enticing commercialism that the world uses to create a false good life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7mpA2L2s3E&feature=related

Don't think I'm crazy, this is really may not be that extreme. I'm really desiring to have an intimate Christmas with family and friends, one that is beautifully simple, one that really is only about Jesus and being with those close to me.

What if this was Christmas?

Saturday

December 13, 2008 The Heart of A Child

The Heart of A Child

I want to share a part of the 'Ragamuffin Gospel' by Brennan Manning, which is where my heart is trying to break out of appearances, learning to live for the beauty in the moment and loving the hearts of children.

Jesus came to the heart of the matter as He set the child on His knee. the child is unself-conscious, incapable of pretense. I am reminded of the night little John Dyer, three years old, knocked on our door flanked by his parents. I looked down and said 'Hi, John, I am delighted to see you.' He looked neither to the right nor left. His face was set like a flint. He narrowed his eyes with the apocalyptic glint of an aimed gun. "Where's the cookies?' he demanded.

The kingdom belongs to people who aren't trying to look good and impress anybody, even themselves. They are not plotting how they can call attention to themselves, worrying about how their actions will be interpreted or wondering if they will get gold stars for their behavior. Twenty centuries later, Jesus speaks pointedly to the preening ascetic trapped in the fatal narcissism of spiritual perfectionism, to those of us caught up in boasting about our victories in the vineyard, to those of us fretting and flapping about our human weaknesses and character defects. The child doesn't have to struggle to get himself in a good position for having a relationship with God; he doesn't have to craft ingenious ways of explaining his position to Jesus; he doesn't have to create a pretty face for himself; he doesn't have to achieve any state of spiritual feeling or intellectual understanding. All he has to do is happily accept the cookies: the gift of the kingdom.

When Jesus tells us to become like little children, He is inviting us to forget what lies behind. Little John Dyer has no past. Whatever we have done in the past, be it good, or evil, great or small, is irrelevant to our stance before God today. It is only now that we are in the presence of God.

The meaning of living in fidelity to the present moment neither retreating to the past nor anticipating the future, is wonderfully illustrated by a Zen story about a monk being pursued by a ferocious tiger. The monk raced to the edge of a cliff, glanced back, and saw the growling tiger about to spring. The monk spotted a rope shinnying down the side of the cliff out of the clutches of the tiger. Whew! narrow escape. The monk then looked down and saw a quarry of jagged rocks five hundred feet below. He looked up and saw the tiger poised atop the cliff with bared claws. Just then, two mice began to nibble at the rope. What to do?

The monk saw a strawberry within arm's reach, growing out of the face of the cliff. He plucked it, ate it, and exclaimed, 'Yum! That's the best strawberry I've ever tasted in my entire life." If he had been preoccupied with the rock below (the future) or the tiger above (the past), he would have missed the strawberry God was giving him in the present moment. Children do not focus on the tigers of the past or the future but only the strawberry that comes in the here and now.

It is no wonder that children grab at my heart over and over again. Over the years teaching these precious little ones, they actually have been teaching me. So many adults see children as a nuisance, uncontrollable and unteachable, but when I look at the heart of a child, wow, it blows me away. Their raw faith, totally open and trusting hearts, waiting to be nurtured and loved often times are faced with sneers, abandonment and rejection. We must be like these little children to enter the Kingdom of God (it is at hand), we must go back and relearn, the children teach us. Their hearts are pure, God gave them to us to teach us His Unconditional Love.

Dear God, will we ever get it? Please forgive us for being so ego driven and selfish. Show us how to see the hearts of every human who is created in Your image, show us how to see with the pure love of a child.



http://farm1.static.flickr.com/59/177003916_3d2cea8df1_m.jpg

Friday

December 12, 2008 What Has Changed in Me?

What Has Changed in Me?

(After sleeping late and spending time this morning sharing with a precious sister, I am in a brain fog from the sinus medication, and at least now I can use that excuse for my procrastination. Maybe I don't need my brain when using my heart :-)

After almost a year now of posting my blog, I look back and think, was there really anything different in what I have shared? It started off with 'love' and it still is 'love'. From the beginning 'His Heart My Heart' followed with 'Your Heart' because we are all connected. There is a deeper experience following Jesus to love Him with all my heart, my mind and my soul. To love others as I love myself, to receive love from the Lord and like a conduit pass it on to others. My openness to receive love previously had been blocked or filtered through a formed self view based on past experiences and 'thinking' love instead of 'feeling' love. It isn't that I didn't love or that I wasn't loved, there was a deeper 'healing love' emerging. The scripture 'you reap what you sow' or the saying 'what goes around comes around' has taken on a deeper meaning which is Love.

Within my heart, here I am, vulnerable, transparent, broken not able to hold anything together and thank God for that! Subconsciously I tried to create perfection (as a service to the Lord, what a dishonor to Him Who is the only perfection). My life has been everything from being abused to being an abuser, from being hurt and as a result of trying hold it all together to make sure it didn't happen again, from an artificial ego feeding life that I created for myself to the crazy expectation for others to follow along with me and even called 'slave driver' and not seeing it because of the laugh behind the comment, when it really was true. What I expected of myself, I expected of others. And thank God, I now see that no one should or can ever be driven to perform and definitely can never be driven to perfection. And the beauty is He doesn't ask us for perfection ever, just to love Him and in loving Him somehow everything falls into place without 'my' effort to make things happen. Yes, I have changed and thank God He has allowed the beam in my eye to fall out!! I may not be able to see what is ahead of me, but definitely can see the wake of destruction behind me and the beauty of this still, present moment.

I am completely in love with Jesus, there is no other need. This love is not the 'doing' of service but being His servant. My commitment is to be wherever He calls me to be, and do whatever He wants me to do. I was not driven to this place, it was offered with the most beautiful compassion from one who is totally committed to love and spread the unconditional love of Jesus to all. No longer concerned about appearances, I take one day at a time and try to live the best I can in this flesh just for Him, an incredible beauty is unfolding in front of me this very moment, every need is met, healing is happening, souls are being connected, His Word Is in each of us.

We have a commitment to each other and that is being Jesus' love for others. My call has been increased to being His 'servant' and learning to love in any situation.

We all have His love within us, our very breath calls out in praise to Him for He is Love.

What has changed in me? Nothing that God has freely given to me, only my mind and my flesh and that is an ongoing process.

Thursday

December 11, 2008 We Are The Body

We Are The Body

After typing and editing (a lot of editing) which is more these days, with less to say as I try and choose more carefully 'words' and set aside the teacher in me and just 'be'. Thinking back, I see how dangerous my words can be in teaching the Word of God with a finite human mind. Even with great care and the most meaningful intentions I've come to the point of realizing my walk, my actions, my reaching out, giving and loving, speak louder than what comes out of my mouth (or what I type from my thoughts on the Internet). Because in the action of holding, offering, and embracing each awesome and beautiful brother and sister, I am learning to 'live' the Word more than teach. The beauty is our communion together, as we love and comfort each other, we are set free by His Good News and no words are needed.

Thought: What would it be like to fellowship together with no words, only praising God from the heart as one body?

This photo was intended for something else as you can read if you click on it, although it may seem bizarre, it is an amazing and alarming example of what I am feeling. The Body has been broken and in a box. But I see an emerging Body rising up with such a profound heart connection and it doesn't look like this, it is beautiful.


http://farm1.static.flickr.com/62/183976855_367e6d0b34_m.jpg


'If We Are the Body' Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4wojcSO9Ww&feature=related

Wednesday

December 10, 2008 Only One

Only One

Enjoy the season to remember that only One, Christ Jesus, God in the flesh, chose to come down to be one of us for a season, to live and die for us that we could be joined with Him for eternity.

Beautiful Songs!

Video & Songs
'What Child Is This' Josh Groban
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ULS8_4lizY

'Silent Night' Classica Guitar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W15DEj-omg&feature=related

Tuesday

December 9, 2008 We Are Our Brother's Keeper

We Are Our Brother's Keeper


Cain asked the Lord after he murdered his brother Abel, 'am I my brother's keeper?' Genesis 4

Everywhere I am in fellowship and community with my brothers and sisters I am seeing this 'keeper', those who guard and watch after each other (without control). Those who give and receive love. I see those reaching out to each other with selfless acts to 'love, accept, invite, engage, allow, connect and share' in both my church and as my husband described in our community of Love Machine. It is my desire as you have read from past entries, that the church everywhere join together without walls into a community of love, not fragmented or disjointed members, but 'one body', one Bride ready for her Husband.

We can be sure if Cain had been his brother's keeper the outcome would have been different.

We are our brother's keeper. And the Lord, Maker of Heaven and Earth is our Keeper.

Psalm 121:1 I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from? 2 My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber; 4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. 5 The Lord watches over you-- the Lord is your shade at your right hand; 6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. 7 The Lord will keep you from all harm-- he will watch over your life; 8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore


http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2264/2165391645_4a84242337_m.jpg

Video & Song
'I Will Lift My Eyes' Bebo Norman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Te0hy2YcLgg

Monday

December 8, 2008 An Amazing Question

An Amazing Question

Yesterday, in my dreams and this morning I've been thinking about one amazing question.
What is needed to connect all hearts around the world?

When we touch each other, we are touching a heart created in God's image, His Spirit is within them, we are in beautiful unity. When we pray for each other we are touching a heart created in God's image, His Spirit is within them, we are in beautiful unity. Talk about a grand thought, no division of God's people anywhere. We can set aside our flesh, which really is the only thing that separates our hearts.

My only prayer is that God will use me as His servant to touch hearts in this tiny space on this huge Earth.


http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1095/1229165648_ba3bff18cc_m.jpg

Video & Song
'Someone Who Cares', Scott Krippayne
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWzyY696R5w&feature=related

Sunday

December 7, 2008 Not So Many Words

Not So Many Words

Well, after not so many words I lost what I typed so here it is again, not exactly the same...

It seems as though the most perfect way to communicate would be without using words. It's not likely that would ever happen, especially with me :-). But in the deep searching of my heart my desire is to not be so quick to speak and when I do to choose my words wisely.

So maybe there was a reason for losing my first blog entry. Maybe this is what I'm feeling.

Ecclesiastes 5:7 Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God.


http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1363/1313783029_ee1279fb9f_m.jpg

Saturday

December 6, 2008 It's A Wonderful Life

It's A Wonderful Life

After thinking all morning, there is only one thing on my mind.
How thankful I am to God for my wonderful full life.

It's A Wondeful Life and it's not a movie.

Friday

December 5, 2008 A Great Miracle

A Great Miracle

After my past accomplishments and going through losing a lot in order to live, brings me to a place of seeing greater miracles which I only dimly could see on the other side of my grandiose goals, as someone once called them, and the frenzied energy of making sure they were met. Notice I said 'making sure'. This is where I stepped off to a new life and now so thankful for it and to see it can't be me, it must be the Lord who brings it all together. To come to this plCheck Spellingace to see and know the 'great' miracles of having the rent before it's really too late, meals to eat, a bed to sleep on, and clothes to wear, fellowship in a community of those who love extravagantly, and most of all my family who is growing closer in our hearts and deeply loving each other, these are the great miracles where there is no lack. It took losing what I thought was a miracle, to see the real miracle. Kind of like when the Israelites had manna for a day and enough to satisfy each of them and they didn't see the miracle. Well, it's like that with Ken and I, we are learning the manna miracles are those which sustain us and they come within a single day. We see them and thank God. This is the life!! And I pray that I never get to where the daily 'manna' miracle isn't enough or go back to where I scream for meat and then the quail (Exodus 16) isn't enough. His daily bread is an extravagant, Heavenly, out-of-this-world banquet.

Thursday

December 4, 2008 Which Way is His Way?

Which Way is His Way?

One thing on my mind this morning is thinking about the 'church' as it is. What would it look like if all the denominations tore down their man-made walls and joined together not just in an occasional convention, rally or revival? What would it look like if there were no walls? Even 'church without walls', have walls. What if we loved each other as we love ourselves? I see great love within the walls and great love poured outside the walls. What if all the denominations were totally open to love together without the barriers. Is this the bride?

Shane Claiborne in Irresistible Revolution, said Jesus is coming back to claim a bride not a harem. Wow, that is singular not plural. Christians are a divided people all over the world. Is it too idealistic to think we could set aside man's standards for following Jesus and together just follow Jesus? Is this too radical or dangerous to think this way? Other than sharing the awesomeness and greatness of God in and through His Word, did we ever need to be taught how to follow Him? A child understands the kingdom of God. A child's heart is a living example of the simple way to Jesus.

Could this idealistic thought be the unblemished bride? How could we know?

Mostly questions today, that cannot be answered today, but beautiful to think that some day maybe it could be this way when the gaps between us disappear.

My whole being desires to follow Jesus, He is The Way. Please don't follow me because I will fail you. Now I want to point to the One who will never fail you.

Wednesday

December 3, 2008 Called To Be A Fire

Called To Be A Fire

"We are not just called to be candles. Candles make for nice Christmas services and for a nice peace vigil (or a pretty Elton John song). They can remind us that God's light dwells within us and that we are to shine that light in this dark world. But we are not just called to be candles. We are called to be fire* Candles can be snuffed out by the slightest wind or by the smallest child on their birthday. But it's harder to put out a fire. We are to be fire, to weave our lives together so that the Spirit's inferno of love spreads across the earth. We are a bride, not a harem."

"* And when I say fire, I mean the kind of fire that purifies and cleanses, not that kind of fire that destroys. This is the gentle fire that the Scriptures speak of, the fire that melts away the impurities of precious metals. The fire that burns away the chaff and the dead branches so that we may be fully alive as people and as a planet. The fire that consumes bushes and sinners without destroying them."
Shane Claiborne, Irresistible Revolution

Luke 11:33 No man, when he has lighted a candle, puts it in a secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a candlestick, that they which come in may see the light.

Holding up a burning flame...
Great menorah with an added curious fellow. Smile


http://farm1.static.flickr.com/39/79186264_3cbef9450f_m.jpg

It's not so little when it is joined with other lights, this little light or flame becomes a great fire.

Video & Song
'This Little Light of Mine'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BP-yuXlONVQ&feature=related

Tuesday

December 2, 2008 'Irresistible Revolution'

'Irresistible Revolution'

After reading 'Irresistible Revolution' by Shane Claiborne (the published date is shown as 1975 it must be a publisher's error, it had to be at least 2000 to 2002, I think?) it only reinforced my desire to be available and offer unconditional love to those needy, hurting, rejected, abused, hungry, homeless, to those trapped in despair within or without their homes and businesses, the poor and wealthy, we are all the same. Where the Word of God comes alive and miracles occur as it did with The Way in Acts, it is the 'living Word' as Shane experienced. Even the little bit I have personally experienced has transformed me. It is a radical way to minister in a country that has everything.

"Love cannot remain by itself -- it has no meaning. Love has to be put into action, and that action is service" Mother Teresa

"It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching."; "Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible." St. Francis of Assisi

No doubt these are two of the greatest saints that every walked the earth as servants, exemplifying Jesus to everyone they encountered both in speech and their walk to all, hierarchy, merchants, common people and outcasts of society.

Warning: This book is dangerous, if we pursue what Shane is offering to us to do we will step out of our comfort zone and we will lose our lives following Jesus.

Matthew 10:39 He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.

Jesus, here I am, I am willing please lead the way.

Video & Song
'Open Arms' Michael W. Smith

Monday

December 1, 2008 Servant Heart

Servant Heart

I am so thankful for this Thanksgiving weekend. Maybe because I have changed or there was no need to compete or take things personally or maybe I am feeling more compassion or maybe learning to see beyond actions and reactions that sometimes come up which are misunderstood or taken personally or maybe my vision and desire is to also be a servant wherever I am. There is no doubt, Yolie, my sister-in-law has a servant's heart and it is beautiful. Thank you Yolie for leading the way.

We talked and of course ate! We prayed, we cried and expressed ourselves, shared from our hearts, we are committed to love each other and be there for each other. And in the intimacy I felt all of my family in my heart even miles away, no one was absent. It was beautiful, I hated to see the weekend end.

From http://www.bible.org/
"But what exactly is servanthood? Servanthood is the state, condition, or quality of one who lives as a servant. Further, a servant is first of all one who is under submission to another. For Christians, this means submission to God first, and then submission to one another. Then, as one in submission, a servant is one who seeks to meet the real needs of others or of the person he is serving. To put it another way, servanthood is the condition or state of being a servant to others, of ministry to others rather than the service of self. It means willingly giving of oneself to minister for and to others and to do whatever it takes to accomplish what is best for another."

Matthew 20:25 Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave-- 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."


“Divine Servant”® by Max Greiner, Jr.
http://www4.mailordercentral.com/maxgreinerjrdesigns/
Bronze sculpture illustrating The servant heart of
Jesus Christ seen on the campus of Dallas Theological Seminary
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/220/519174428_d5e68e0e17_m.jpg

Video & Song
'Amazing Grace' Leann Rimes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FM5kYUoMmuA

Saturday

November 29, 2008 FW: Let It Be

Let It Be

From Jim's blog this morning 'Let It Be' "We're not here to give up on ourselves and/or each other and lose all hope, with the only option left being to either beat up or leave each other in hostile rejection. We are here to accept all of life as the amazing gift it is and to learn how to love and be loved (which is deeply internal work), regardless of the external circumstances, which requires first that we stay present to the Truth and stick with it, and then that we look to God for answers when it feels hopeless and pointless, when it just gets to be too much. And judging from the emails and phone calls I've been receiving over this holiday weekend, it feels hopeless and pointless and too much for so many out there, and I can totally understand, and that equals incredible opportunity for practicing, for remembering, for returning to Him." ____Jim Spivey

This is so perfect for how I have been feeling and wanting to have full expression to love and be loved within my own immediate family and extended family, (and you have been in my prayers knowing you are with your families) to invite and allow that deep internal work which so often doesn't come because of a permeating stifling tension that keeps expression from flowing. So often in past years the holiday weekends and family get-togethers at some point would be disastrous, and each, including myself, would be involved in lashing out or leaving to avoid each other, or the total opposite, pretending all is well when it wasn't because of fear to just 'let it be'. I am finding peace as I dive within myself and allow Truth and Love to flow in order to slay the fire breathing dragon.I have changed and now can 'see' and 'feel' and truly loving ever minute of time with my family.

I'm on my brother-in-laws computer and getting use to the keys is taking time. So I'm going to leave this without the additional video or photo so I can go back and join the family. I love you all.

There is true healing in sharing from the heart.

Wednesday

November 26, 2008 Together

This year will be different at Thanksgiving.

As the years go on things change; I have changed. And I'm thankful for what I have. I've learned to see most obstacles as a test, use my heart instead of my head (an ongoing process) but I needed to be able to 'feel' the difference between the two, see my husband and family as gifts in my life to teach me how to love, see that nothing is coincidence and that nothing is never going on, not to be afraid of being pushed over the bridge, now I try to jump on my own, learned to sit with musicians until late and not take it out on husband all the way home because of my misperception that he set it up and it was someone else who had (where did that come from? Ken did you notice?), it's perfectly okay to say 'no' when there are things stacked up or scheduled elsewhere, to remember to look into the faces of the homeless when passing them and smile at them, that it's okay to just give love when there is no money or items to give, that money and items given don't mean love they just are gifts and expressions, it's okay not to keep a perfectly presentable home, or car, that things looking perfect is just an illusion because there is no such thing, (and if this isn't boring you to death), one more, I love my husband and sons and family more now than ever, with all the flaws and hurtful things said and done, because we are all humans 'becoming' and we are both joyful and hurting inside all the time, acting out all the time and it is beautiful to openly share (and be vulnerable) and invite sharing (to allow healing), healing is in the sharing. We really are humans 'becoming' with full spectrum feelings learning to be all that God created us to be.

So this Thanksgiving, be thankful and be real, allow and share feelings of pain, shame and fear so fear doesn't show up in such hurtful, acting out ways, to laugh and cry and love one another as you love yourself. I know I am.

And as we break bread together at the communion table with the ones we most desire to be with, our God appointed family, when for many it is a stressful and dreadful experience because it is where our most important work has always been going on and has been all our lives. Remember Jesus who is with us, He is reminding us 'eat this is My Body and drink this is My Blood'. Joining together with our parents and family who are missed and who couldn't make it or who have gone on to be with the Lord, what a beautiful table setting!

Go and love each other, be with your God appointed family wherever they are. We will be.

Love you all and so thankful to God for you!


Salvador Dali, 'Bread on the Table'
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2258/2092976716_ecb72a6d3a_m.jpg

Video & Song
"Thank You' Katinas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJEPg7fKOtc&feature=related

Tuesday

November 25, 2008 'Find Your Calcutta'

I guess there really is a synchronicity going on, everywhere I go, community, Sunday night's teaching on Mark 10 about the rich young ruler, the book I'm reading 'Irresistible Revolution' by Shane Clairborne, 1975 (all the quotes below are from this book), are all talking about one thing, giving it all to follow Jesus, reaching out to those in despair and afflicted, homeless and hungry.

In the book something that stands out is a quote from Mother Teresa, of whom after ignoring the constant joking of others calling me her name, I am beginning to resonate with her heart and see what she was seeing and did not ignore, she said 'Calcuttas are everywhere if we have the eyes to see. Find your Calcutta'. There is no doubt Calcuttas are everywhere and in contrast to the high rises and highways it is easy to look up and out so that those laying on the ground don't exist. The homeless will tell you what hurts the most is how those passing by will not look at their face but look past them as if they didn't exist.

'So I did a little survey, probing Chrisitians about their (mis)conceptions of Jesus. It was fun just to see how many people think of Jesus. It was fun to just see how many people think Jesus loves homosexuals or are kosher. But I learned a striking thing from the survey. I asked participiants who claimed to be 'strong followers of Jesus' whether Jesus spent time with the poor. Nearly 80 percent said yes. Later in the survey, I sneaked in another question. I asked the same group of strong followers whether they spent time with the poor , and less than 2 percent said they did. I learned a powerful lesson. We can admire and worship Jesus without doing what he did. We can applaud what he preached and stood for without caring about the same things. We can adore his cross without taking up ours. I had come to see that the great tragedy in the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor but that rich Christians do not know the poor.'

'Over and over, the dying and the lepers would whisper the mystical word 'namaste' in my ear. We really don't have a word like it in English (or even much of a Western conception of it). They explained to me that namaste means 'I honor the Holy One who lives in you.'

Well here I am, I can't wait anymore, I am giving an 'all call'; if Jesus said 'give it all', I can give it all and go out into the streets and be a servant. To look for Jesus in the streets. To go out at every opportunity I have. Every church has an organization either already established, or just beginning in street ministry for the homeless. Search them out, participate, and give your all as a servant. If your church doesn't have one start one. But it isn't sitting back and joyfully acknowledging that someone is doing it and participating vicariously with offerings, it is physically participating, going out and with radical love and looking into the eyes of those hurting and say 'I see you and love you'.

'Irresistible Revolution' only serves to confirm, I need to get off my butt and be that servant. Remember the zeal as a new born Christian? Ever heard stories of those who have gone to India and been in the midst of the poorest of poor and come back to our comfort and wealth and have a hard time adjusting to it, they were changed forever and had hearts hurting to serve. We all were fearless at the beginning and went out like barbarians, remember the miracles? Then comfort brought complacency, we cannot ignore it any longer, comfort will be the very thing that destroys the walls of the 'church' as it is today and maybe that is a good thing, because it will force us out the doors into the community.

Monday

November 24, 2008 We Are The Same

I was comparing some examples that many of us have used as an indicator within the church to identify and determine if someone throughout various times of their life are or are not following Jesus

These are the examples for not following Jesus (but don't get in a ruffle just yet, read on)

They hit bottom over and over
They're living in a hell within this world
Everything is falling apart all around them
Their whole life is a mess around them
They're broke and aren't prospering financially
They have marital and family stress

It became apparent to me that these are examples of those who are following Jesus with committed, radical untamed faith, standing firm in their call and believing and not wavering in their vision to be His servant.

They hit bottom over and over
They're living in a hell within this world
Everything is falling apart all around them
Their whole life is a mess around them
They're broke and aren't prospering financially
They have marital and family stress

It is a very alarming thing for me to see that an 'outward' observation would feed our own pride and ego to determine who is following Jesus and who is not. Rather what would happen if those of us who have purposed to follow Jesus would look only at the heart? What if we lived what we preach or teach? To live radical untamed faith and live as Jesus and his apostles lived. Would we or could we give up everything so that we in 2008 even before the year ended would go out in the world and become once again The Way, the community in the book of Acts? Could we ever dream to set aside man-made denominational walls that separate God's people and become the original church community once again? To be The Way, where no one had a need because everyone gave all they had? And I'm sure that wasn't just financial, it was open comm(nity)union. Added to clarify (communion and common unity).

I am seeing this community pouring out everywhere, you won't find it in a building. After all doesn't the scriptures say to go out to the byways and highways? Didn't Jesus teach outside and go into peoples homes? Can we be this church again?

People who love the Lord and are committed to completely give everything to follow Him are being called 'out' as servants for the unlovely, unwanted, hurting, destitute, confused, searching hearts, to those no different than we are. We are the same in our hearts and even in our struggles.

I want to thank those of you who help us see, those of you who continue to push through and not give up despite obstacles and the constant bombardment of opposition, those who are living examples of The Way and loving their neighbors as themselves, many, many all around the world who are totally committed and sacrifice to share this abundant life.


Tabgha - Church of Heptapegon - Byzantine Mosaic
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1079/907011906_dba9a6bc8f_s.jpg

Video & Song
'I Will Carry Your' Michael W. Smith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMZj0520v0g

Sunday

November 23, 2008 Communicating with Prayer

Think of all the communication that never collides out in cyberspace, all the many words that are sent from one wireless computer or other devices to another all over the world. The same is happening with prayer, it never collides but goes out for the person receiving the prayer and arrives uninterrupted.

We never stop communicating, thinking or praying. Prayer is what we are made of, our very breath is communicating prayer giving thanks to God our Creator for life within us. Every cell of our body cries out with every particle in the universe 'Holy, Holy, Holy'. We may not be consciously aware, but if you change your focus to the beauty of creation which you are a part of, you will resonate with a nano portion of what He allows us to see in our flesh.

1 Thessalonians 5:16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.


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Video & Song
'With All I am' Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4JCIFKBYnY

Saturday

Novmeber 22, 2008 Full Living

With my mind and my mouth only and without my heart, to speak the Word, is such a dishonor to the sacredness of His Infinite Word, using It to hide under or a method to 'get' something that I don't comprehend fully the depth of It all, rather than building up faith by searching for Its Light to guide me on my path and being transformed in the ongoing searching for His ultimate Truth to renew my mind, which is continuous renewing, Romans 12. Then when It finally gets down in my heart, infinite work is still needed for It to manifest those things for which I search, which will always be Truth. The confusion is misunderstanding and often thinking that it is the heart when really it is the mind. The hardest journey has been 'trying' to live as an example totally from the heart, not only receiving His Unconditional Love, but giving the same Unconditional Love after it has been filtered through me and polluted with confusion of the mind.

When we are using our heart as opposed to the complication of our mind we begin to see glimpses of His vastness offered to us on Earth as it is in Heaven. What exuberant joy not to hide behind scriptures to cover the heart but fully live the Word, to allow the heart to feel deeply and to see the infinite depth of His direction as it connects us and all things together in His creation, just as the vast universe without is unending and the nano sized particles are infinite from within, so is God's Word vast and unending when our hearts are open to love, live, to be free, to feel and see fully, which reveals mystery and lighted discovery on a magnificent map for our lives.

Friday

November 21, 2008 Unique life

After my outdated computer dictates to me a time to start today because virus updates I'm ready to add my two cents for the day.

So I have no eloquent, sophisticated, scholarly, presentations, not even attentive to misspelled words, misused terms and tenses, punctuation, referencing, or sticking with the subject. Maybe my discombobulated, reduntant method and manner of communication reflects the area of which I so need to learn and watch carefully 'myself', as something is always going on that reflects back to me the very things I search for and need at this very moment. It's all part of Gods perfect timing, planning, and direction for my unique laid out life, like an illuminated path to show the way. And I'm loving the stroll down this path.



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Video & Song
'Amazed' Desperation Band
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQAPMRpNoe8&feature=related

Thursday

November 20, 2008 Time for a Heart Re-commitment

My mornings are starting later (that is on getting up), and my days are becoming full. I must make a recommitment, that is to acknowledge what has been familiar from my past. My commitment is in holding fast not to lose myself in 'doing'. The commitment is to the Lord first, my husband and family second and then everything else in turn. In the 'doing' I've been there, done that, and it cost me everything and only by the grace of God did my marriage survive and my sons live (I'll talk about my 'toxic' love another day). Now, if I'm going to lose everything it is being a servant for the Lord and not in 'doing' (carefully weighing what looks as though it is 'for' the Lord). Because one thing I realize, I don't need to 'do' anything to 'help' the Lord, just be available when He says 'go'. His awesome Grace and Love is all I need and I gain everything.

My call is for today and the path is laid out before me just for today. There's no need to have a long term projection in His call. He has it all under control, all the time, yesterday, today and forever. And now I am learning to relax in Him and be aware of the priority of my commitment, and carefully consider what is before me, day by day. Without resisting, because resisting will take me back to where I came from, I choose to be fully awake and alive. Life is like a beautiful flower opening petal by petal until it is in full bloom (one day at a time until I see Him face to face).

And Mom, to honor you and say I love you, Have a Blessed and Happy Birthday!



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Video & Song
'Flower In The Rain' Jaci Valasquez
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EA69xAUrNTA&feature=related

Wednesday

November 19, 2008 The Real Sweet

There are the pink, the blue and the yellow, then there is the choice of the real thing.
Found in the land flowing with milk, in a rock, in a lion carcass, on the ground, in a river.

It is sweet to the taste, it is alluring and it will make you sick when indulging on it. It is honey.

Proverbs 24:13 My son, eat honey because it is good, And the honeycomb which is sweet to your taste.

What choices we have these days! All the artificial stuff and it does so much damage to the 'Body'. We choose them for many reasons, and one as a substitute for the real thing. We also have 'One' real choice when it comes to the true God. The Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit, Three in One.

Don't be fooled by the imitations, only One is real.


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Video & Song
'In Christ Alone' Phillips, Craig & Dean
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrim6EAnolw

Tuesday

November 18. 2008 'I Tell You The Truth'

You will be arrested, family will rebel against each other and turn each other into the authorities, to be put to death. You will be hated, you will be persecuted. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. 27 What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.
Do Not Be Afraid. Your Soul cannot die. His Truth, His Sword will divide.
The whole chapter of Matthew 10 shows the unfathomable reward and sorrow of following Jesus. In following Him we will find supernatural, abundant life that is beyond this world. So does the sorrow really matter? The reward is abundant life. These are only words until the fullness of walking for Jesus reveals that the Kingdom of God is at hand. This is my desire to know Jesus more.



Video & Song
'My Desire' Jeremy Camp

Monday

November 17, 2008 Abide in Love

We are in His light, and walk in His light. We test the spirits and if they confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh, it is of God.

To measure whether something is of God based on peripherals such as denominations, dogmas, rituals, works, power, etc. is based on pride if we will admit it, and underneath that pride is fear. It is fear that has kept the world from knowing the Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:16. If we abide in God and his love, there is no fear, because there is only one perfect Love and His Love casts out all fear.

1 John 4:1 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2 By this you know the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, 3 and every spirit that does not confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God. And this is the spirit of the Antichrist, which you have heard was coming, and is now already in the world.
(The Message)



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Video & Song
'How Deep The Father's Love' Sarah Sadler
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XrZV90MzOA&feature=related

Sunday

November 16, 2008 What Will You Lose?

Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. 25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. 26 For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

When giving your life what will you lose? What will you find? .........Everything



Video & Song
'I Am Willing' Jeremy Camp

Saturday

November 15, 2008 Today is Saturday

Hey it's Saturday!! It felt good to just lay in bed and think with a smile inside, wrapped in the covers. Thinking I need to get up and write and allowing today to be one of rest, but purposing it to be a day of rest in my body, my mind and spirit.
Today is Saturday, not Saturn's day but Sabbath day, one of rest. And as much as I am able I will give praise to my God for He is good, He is wonderful, He is everlasting, omnipotent, All Mighty God. He holds back the sea with His hand, breathes Life from His nostrils, holds the stars, and the galaxies in place in the universe, the Earth is footstool the Heavens His canopy. HE IS just as He said, 'I AM'.

We never know, nor can see what He is doing. We only can look back and see what He did, and in this very moment see what He is doing.
So today is Saturday. Praise God!!

Anyone remember these days?


This is such a beautiful song,
Video & Song
'I'm In Your Hands' Bebo Norman

Friday

November 14, 2008 Dimly Seeing

I am enjoying the daily conversations with my husband Ken, as we search for a deeper inner connection with God and 're-find' Him within each other. After years of hiding, lashing out, blaming, rejecting, dishonoring and resisting each other in a place of blindness, believing we were His servant, well, we may have been a servant of 'works', but one world changing element was missing....Light. But even the blindness was part of His perfect plan as He meant it all for good. After all, one story reflecting our story was Joseph, and I'm sure as we did, Joseph thought he was in a 'hell' hole left to die at first, but it was a place to strip down haughtiness and pride to get to meekness and humility, and to be sure the process was complete he was then taken straight into bondage, then ultimately being liberated and used for God's glory. (Genesis 37-50).

Yesterday we talked about the idioms of 'you spot it, you got it' and 'what you see is what you get' and to think these got on my nerves in the recent past but now I 'see', if I take the time to look at it, the resistance will lead me to my life's work in finding the truth about what is 'within' me. The only reason for resisting was the inability to see 'my' reflection in others, subconsciously welcoming the good and what I admired, and rejecting what was irritating, mean spirited, hurting, etc. Who am I? I am you, and you are me, we are each other.

When we can look into each other as our own reflection, we can dive within ourselves with His perfect Love and allow Him to purged and set free, then we can 're-find' within ourselves His perfect Light. Now we can feel safe to 'see fully' and 'be seen fully', we can love ourselves and our neighbor as ourselves, the ones in the mirror.

We are mirrors of each other in communion, in fellowship, within the Body of Christ, with our differing gifts but not differing souls connected with such profoundness, inexplicable in this earthly realm, connecting us in the heavenly realm with the only One Who reflects back to us Perfect Love and Light.

Let His light shine through you for the all the world to see, so they may also desire the 'fullness' of Christ in their lives.

1 Corinthians 13:8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. 13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.




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And the deepest part of all of us, regardless of how we act out, we are crying to be seen and to be loved. 'We'll-come' to a place where we can give as well as receive.

Video & Song
'Cry For Love' Michael W. Smith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0lywmOYkuA