Haven't we all endured and overcome tragedies in our lives? Could it be that in our tragedies that we are all the same? We find our purpose has not been to observe these in others with pious judgement (as a way to deny it) or sympathy (as a way to try and feel it) but empathy (as a living example).
In this not so abundant life of denial to protect ourselves or others, it is inevitable that the next generation must suffer from the current hiding and pretending.
Do we really seek to be set free? To find that place where our hearts can truly 'soar'. When we are faced with the very thing we fear because it 'did' come upon us. We either accept it, or run from it; stuff it or deny it, be truthful with our feelings or lie about it. How is it that we want to continue in, or carry within us the very thing that is keeping us enslaved?
Then to add to the pain in our lives, we are such good pretenders. Faking our feelings, faking our smiles, faking in order to protect our 'good reputation'. After all what would happen if someone ever found out the 'truth'? Instead of it setting us free, what if it started a family war or a complete all out war that will hurt or shame a lot of people?
One thing I am sure of and have seen it for years, when a topic of discussion gets too close to the core of our heart's pain and hiding, the ways of avoiding truth are varied. Some rage, some abuse, some are violent, some abuse themselves, some stay silent, some talk too much, some smile all the time, some frown all the time, some control, some don't care, some get depressed, some get sick, some stay busy, some become paralyzed, some are so wanting to be set free regardless of how fearful exposure in the Light is, they are ready and scream at least from the inside if not the outside, 'please help me!', I'll do whatever it takes!, Set me free!'
Children and adults are abused by beating, neglect, abandonment, sexual abuse, teasing, forcing them to do things dehumanizing and degrading. Some which may not be so obvious and actually encouraged in our society, like putting unreachable expectations on a child, expecting them to act like a 'little adults', expecting them to take on the responsibilities of an adult, expecting them to be a star. Forcing them to take part in our abusive religious addictions, punishing or abusing children in the name of Jesus. These can be either overt demands or covert neediness, producing the same result - fear.
Whoever reads this, whether family or friends, know that what I am writing is totally out of Love for you and desiring for all of us to be set free. We can do this together. I am no longer afraid, please don't be afraid of the Truth.
The silence and pretending has hurt everyone and each generation is affected. Pain is diminished in forgiveness, to endure is our call in life. Jim Spivey once said to me, 'Teresa it didn't happen
to you, it happened
for you' And in that moment I realized, what if I could use all this for good? What is meant for evil, God means for good. We are constantly fighting battles which seem to be futile. But are they really? What if in the knowing and acceptance of the fact that there is evil in this life we conquer our biggest fear? Accepting what has happened to us is part of this evil which cannot be avoided in this 'world'. The battles are not of the flesh. How can we fight what is not physical? It is by the Holy Spirit that we overcome the battles in the spiritual realm. But why then do the spiritual battles manifest in the physical over and over again? We have absolutely no control over what is manifested in the physical realm. Once we are aware of our need to be set free, we ask God and believe. He is in control and will answer our need. What if we can experience the freedom in knowing the war is not ours to fight? What if we could see that in the revealing of Truth we will find absolute peace that surpasses all understanding? What if we were set free because we weren't afraid of the Truth or Unconditional Love? Inner turmoil from the inner silence and hiding would be no more. The violence and raging, sexual abuse, promiscuousness, drugs, alcohol, suicide attempts, stealing, abortions/murder, to name a few, are now our path to total freedom. I once told my sons Josh and Jesse to 'pray for everything they can think of for your family, because we have seen it all and have done it all' and are still in it all until it is released. When we see how much God love us all no matter what we've done, no matter who has done it, we are set free, the abuser, and victim both.
Grace is sufficient, Love unconditionally and we overcome bondage. Then our hearts are really not 'sore' because we are truly set free.
And what prompted all this? Once again, I am so thankful that the Lord uses Jim to say what needs to be said to help prompt inner searching for healing. The text said, 'Here's a beautiful invitation: let your heart soar vs letting it be sore'. This is the way, opening up and pouring out my heart so it can 'soar' without the weight of the bondage which as an adult
I have the choice to hold onto it or let it go.
I would love to share with anyone who desires to find their way to total freedom, within our hearts together. The Truth is available to anyone who desires It and It does set us free.
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