Saturday

January 31, 2009 Blooming Endless Road

Blooming Endless Road

Well, I had something else which came to me yesterday, but this thought came to me this morning:

We are not controlled (by a perfectly loving and perfectly patient God) puppets on a string, but we are allowed to choose a fulfilled, complete life of wonder (with total, radical, surrender to His purpose for us, which is crazy and insane to the world's eyes), on this extremely long, endless road which blooms (present tense) before our eyes with each step.


http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1025/1217557896_02f9b9b8fe.jpg?v=0

Friday

January 30, 2009 You Me and We

You Me and We

Oh well, I guess my ADD is kicking in this morning :-). I'm having a hard time focusing. I need another cup of coffee :-). And don't you hate it when you wake up too fast and what you thought was an earth changing, life saving, profound dream, just went 'poof'!.
Well, I guess my gift isn't to save the world, but I can add a drop in this vast ocean of despair and hopelessness starting right here and let the wake of hope move out from me and see 'the Peace that surpasses all understanding' take over both 'within' and 'without' -(these are the only two words I remember in my dream).

This morning I don't have much to say; maybe I've already said it? There is a constant expanding depth of searching for Truth and the amazing way God is revealing this to me and to all the beautiful lives all around me. Every life is a beautiful story deserving of an Oscar, but how do you recognize a life that is absolutely priceless.....
with L O V E. YES!!!

So here's to 'within' (you and me) and 'without' (them) as (we) all come together to see how valuable life really is and begin to let the peace of God guard our hearts and minds through Messiah Khristos Yeshua.

Thursday

January 29, 2009 The Mind Blowing Universe!

The Mind Blowing Universe!

It is mind blowing when in a nano second our minds catch a glimpse of and then try to hold onto how God's perfect plan is so beautifully weaved into His creation of man and the universe through time, space and within His Word, which He left us as a guide book for the secrets of it all.

It doesn't get much better. When we have surrendered it all in order to 'know that we know, The Great I AM that I AM'. There really is not just looking back anymore to see the wonders that 'have happened' but now in the surrendering there is experiencing and seeing in the present as we hold ourselves in the present as His beauty whirls faster than the speed of light. Which is according to Einstein's Theory of Relativity is c = 186,000 miles/sec = 300,000 km/s = 3 x 10 10 cm/s (= 1 light-year/year). (And on this one I need to go back to study since I am far from understanding the mind or the calculations of a mathematician!! And this alone is mind blowing to me!!)

He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in. Isaiah 4:22

Here's an interesting astronomy explanation for the speed of the expanding universe. It is long and if you want to read more here's the link: http://www.geocities.com/worldview_3/science.html

Science Facts Confirm the Bible
by R. Totten, M.Div - © 2000
Background Issues
During the 1700s, various "Enlightenment" philosophers of western culture wrote articles and books which attempted to portray the Bible's view of the world as being backward, and superstitious, and un-scientific.
For example, Voltaire (1694 -1778) maintained that the Middle Ages were a time of darkness and ignorance. Marquis de Condorcet (1743 -1794) emphasized how great a step in mankind's progress it was to get rid of the shackles of barbaric, "superstitious religion," and advance into enlightened human reason, especially through science. Similarly, others such as Hume and Gibbon philosophized in the same direction.
In their work on philosophy of science, called The Soul of Science, (Wheaton:Crossway, 1994), Pearcey and Thaxton explain how this same anti-Christian viewpoint of the enlightenment continued to spread through the "positivists" in the 1800s. The positivists "portrayed the development of science as the inevitable 'march of mind' from darkness and superstition into the light of reason ---with 'reason' defined by the modern secular mind" (p.47).
One of the boldest expositors of this positivist viewpoint, was A.D. White, who wrote History of the Warfare of Science with Theology (1896). Pearcey & Thaxton summarize his work : "White combs through Western history for examples of Christians who resist scientific concepts later accepted by mainstream science, chalking up their resistance to fear and dogmatism while lavishing praise on any historical figures lucky enough to have anticipated modern concepts" (Soul of Science, p.48).
What White and the anti-Christian writers of the "Enlightenment" disingenuously ignored, was that modern science and the scientific method was founded on and grew up out of the Christian biblical worldview, assumptions and culture of Europe, as a result of discussion between Christian researchers and thinkers --such as Isaac Newton and Gregor Mendel. (See: "The Foundation of Science is The Biblical Worldview").
Disputes about new ideas in science should come as no surprise. --When there is discussion about new ideas there are often disagreements --and, naturally, the Christian founders of modern science also had disagreements then (including arguments with church officials and society at large) --just as there are disputes among scientists (both secular and Christian) today. No surprise there. --But positivism has left many people with a warped view of the history, and the proper functioning of scientific review --and religion's role in it.
Contrary to the positivist view of things, many of the principles of modern science were already spoken of in the Bible as facts of nature many years before scientific research finally made the empirical discoveries. We'll touch on a number of these areas here.
The "Big Bang" and Expanding Universe
It is now quite well established (as discovered by Edwin Hubble in 1929) that the universe is expanding sort of like a lump of dough, whereby every galaxy (like raisins in the dough) is getting further apart from the center and from all the other galaxies ...except this is happening at a speed of many thousands of miles per hour (...in fact, the rate of expansion is increasing).
Now, if we "reverse the film" on the expanding universe, and go way back, we would end up with all the matter in the universe located in a small area, which would be the beginning point. Such a "beginning" which expands out to today's universe is compatible with what is presented in the Bible. The Bible starts out by saying, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth" (Genesis 1:1). So, there we have a "beginning" to the universe.
It should be noted that in Genesis 1:1, the Hebrew word for "created" ("bara") means a "creation from nothing," as something is brought into existence. A start from nothing, is a very good description of what cosmologists (such as Stephen Hawking) call a "singularity," which is the starting-point of the Big Bang. ---A singularity is: all the potential mass (matter), energy, and dimensions (including time) of the cosmos, reduced down to an infinitely small point of ZERO volume. --This same concept is brought out again in Hebrews 11:3 which declares that "the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible." The original starting-point for the universe was invisible, and had zero volume --just as the Bible teaches... as no other ancient writing does.
Furthermore: Cosmologists and physicists teach that matter, 3-dimensional space, and even time itself virtually did not exist before the Big Bang; (when God created them). Here it is fascinating to NOTE: 1Corinthians 2:7, 2Timothy 1:9, and Titus 1:2 indicate that time itself, with all its eons and ages, had a "beginning." ---NO other ancient literature (besides the Bible) states that time had a beginning!
Then, having started from this "beginning" point, the Bible even says about God: "He alone stretches out the heavens and treads on the waves of the sea" (Job 9:8); and "He stretches out the heavens like a tent" (Psalm 104:2); and "He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in" (Isa. 40:22); and "the Lord your Maker, who stretched out the heavens" (Isa. 51:13); ...there are about nine such biblical references. --Notice that God stretched the heavens out in the past, and some of those verses declare that He still "stretches" the universe out today!
This "beginning" from nothing, and the "spreading" or "stretching out" of the heavens (an excellent portrayal of the expanding universe due to the Big Bang since the instant God created the universe) are words of biblical prophets that were written from about 1500 BC. ---which is about 3000 years before Edwin Hubble discovered that the universe is expanding!

Pretty mind blowing isn't it?!!

Wednesday

January 28, 2009 Where is the Grass Greener?

Where is the Grass Greener?

What really is greener on the other side of the fence? Usually we can't see it. So why do we want it? What is the perception that is calling us to someone else's territory? What is it in our lives that we are never satisfied with our side of the fence? I am really speaking of wanting something that isn't a reality. We can't see through that fence, the hidden hell or pain in their lives is no different than ours. The greener grass in this world is an illusion.

So as I am typing this I had no idea where this 'greener grass' thing was going to go. But then again how could I not as a human 'becoming'. Here I am, someone who is learning to express my pain, and invite others to express theirs. I want to be that person now and offer myself to be as one awesome young lady so beautifully expressed to her husband yesterday, as they begin their journey as a newlywed couple, "I will be the face of everyone you needed to express your anger to'. What an amazing loving example for all of us, to offer ourselves as a living sacrifice for healing. And to be very clear this is not as an abusive whipping post or a sounding board for verbal abuse which I see is internalized anger rather than working on anger in order to be healed. In allowing the expressed anger we allow healing, we see each other's needs openly and share deep compassion with each other. We no longer need to escape to the other side or hide on our side but become very real, open, loving, expressive, relationships and community.

Tuesday

January 27, 2009 Childlike Vision

Childlike Vision

Last night I watch The Last Templar and if I didn't get anything else, I got what was said by the old man who lived on one of the Greek Islands off the coast of Turkey. He said 'life gives life, love gives love, and hope gives hope'. He was isolated near the shore and didn't mind, he found God's beauty all around him and even in watching the trees grow and the women in the village brought him food to eat. What a life, this simple, childlike, unrestricted beauty!!

Then I wake up this morning and the first thing Ken says to me in his profoundness that happens at the end of every perceived despair, 'We must have compassion, we don't know the difficulties that occur in people's lives that we don't see, we need to just love them'. What a life, this simple, childlike, unrestricted beauty!!

We certainly don't understand fully this 'give your life away' or use your gifts and be a servant and the measure you give you shall receive. We don't fully understand casting your bread on the water because we are too impatient waiting for it to come back, as if we think the return is immediate. One thing we know is Truth which has been planted in us. We may not have it right yet, and there certainly isn't figuring it out because that involves the mind and not the heart, but we are becoming living offerings and willing servants. We really are here to have compassion, to love extravagantly and point all to the only One Who Is Abundant Life, Jesus.

Well, this is in me today, I guess I'm dancing on the inside today. After all isn't it clear joy comes in the morning and He changes our mourning into dancing. He let's us experience it all, this full abundant LIFE without limit. We are His children and today I feel free enough to just act like a child. This is beautiful song and the animation is great. I could ask, 'wouldn't it be great to have this freedom as a child and with nature?', but it isn't a question after all, it is, 'we can have this freedom as a child and with nature when we choose to see through the forest (circumstances) that obstructs our view'. What a life, this simple, childlike, unrestricted beauty!!

Video & SongThe River Is Here from WOW
The movie, Brother Bear
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOi1yC6_iPI&feature=related

Monday

January 26, 2009 Light In The Dark

Light In The Dark

Last night on the way to church I heard 'don't give up on those in the dark'. What an eye opener.
We all have pain throughout various times of our lives, physical, emotional and spiritual. We hold in pain, it wreaks havoc in our relationships, our vision and our healing? How is it that we don't die while in our pain? We all have been given a measure of faith, it keeps us from laying down and giving up our own life while in pain. We survive while in pain.
We are in darkness but not of it. We walk in Light, but don't turn our backs on those who are in the dark. Those in the dark are in our own homes, our own families, everywhere we go.

We have a purpose for our pain and each of us will see our purpose.

We are lights within darkness, the Light is within us to share with others so they may find His Light, that is Jesus.

Sunday

January 25, 2009 Truth

Truth

You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. Jesus

We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart. Blaise Pascal

New opinions often appear first as jokes and fancies, then as blasphemies and treason, then as questions open to discussion, and finally as established truths. George Bernard Shaw

Children say that people are hung sometimes for speaking the truth. Joan of Arc

The truth is always exciting. Speak it, then. Life is dull without it. Pearl S. Buck

The ideals which have lighted me on my way and time after time given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Truth, Goodness, and Beauty. . . . The ordinary objects of human endeavour -- property, outward success, luxury -- have always seemed to me contemptible. Albert Einstein

The world is too dangerous for anything but truth and too small for anything but love. William Sloane Coffin

To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. William Shakespeare

Truth is, truth does, truth always will. (me)

There isn't really anything to say about truth. It really takes care of itself. It can't be coerced, prompted, forced or cajoled. Truth stands alone. When we find it, we know it, and it does set us free.

Saturday

January 24, 2009 Lights, Life and Cool Waters

Lights, Life and Cool Waters

It is truly amazing how things change moment by moment. There is difficulty in finding stability within this vacillating life between despair and hope or Heaven and Hell. We find it because we must. It's like an oasis in the desert or a river in dry places. These are trails that lead us and give us hope. We look for stability among thistle and thorns and cannot find it. We scratch within the dust and continue to water it when it never brings life (But then again there are real miracles). There is really a dark side to this life. We live in it but not of it. There is a choice, it is to choose life even in darkness, even in despair and turmoil even when there seems to be no answer. We are lights in darkness, we are lights to see a way in our own darkness, the Light lives within us. Choose between Jesus' cleansing, purging, unquenchable fire and the burning fire of Hell even on this earth. Choose life not death, choose to live not die. Choose an abundant, multi-dimensional life. Choose life.

This is a clip from the park scene in Fisher King with Robins Williams, who is such a brilliant actor. A more modest scene so it is safe for you to watch on this one. It is so poignant and I want to be this fool when it comes to giving my thirsty brothers and sister a drink of water. We all have been burned and in this offering we all are healed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wITHYBwT_yw&NR=1



http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2252/1534015427_5829a09938_m.jpg

Cool Waters....Pam Hobart is having her day in the light as she is spreading her gifts to many today. An amazing musician, flutist and dulcimerist. Her very first music CD called 'Cool Waters'. Way to go Pam!! Thank you for sharing your beautiful gifts.

January 23, 2009 Save Us LORD

Save Us LORD

One thing I am sure of, our God is a compassionate loving God. He is not a controlling God, we have a choice always.

When I cry out to Him whether it is for me, my husband, my sons, my family, my work, my friends, my country, or for any other cause He hears me and answers my prayer always. Some I am able to see, some I don't see but what I don't see doesn't mean He didn't answer me. And when we cry out to God for our land/our country, He changes His mind just as He did when Moses stood on behalf of Israel when He was going to destroy all of them (Exodus 31:14).

It isn't a matter of how we do this. It's a matter of how long can we wait before we do this? And when we get it, how long will it last?

For some reason I don't think this is a casual passing by prayer, or 'Good morning God' prayer. It is interesting in this case with Israel it took only one man. Is there one? There is One greater. He intercedes to the Father on our behalf, He is Savior, God, King Jesus. How beautiful and awesome is this?!!

I listened to this from 3am. Here it is...
2 Chronicles 7:14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

When God changed His mind about destroying the land:
Amos 7:3 & 6
Jeremiah 26:19
2 Chronicles 32:26

January 22, 2009 Fw-God Teaches Me...

God Teaches Me...

There is another land out there that I am discovering which is not limited. A whole new land out there that needs discovering of which I didn't see in Egypt....it only is being revealed in the drudging through the deep sand at times and then on clear open paths at times, and if I dare look back the blowing sand blinds my eyes. And He say 'go into the land which I promised you, it's straight ahead, don't stop, keep on going, Can you see it?'

I am forwarding this blog which I received this morning from Jim. Oh girl, does it say a lot to me, brought tears to my eyes because it is me...and the greatest thing in 'finding' me, I am not afraid of 'me' any longer. The roads have been closed off to the past (Egypt) and I am so thankful!!!What amazes me is the vast, ever changing lucidity that is occurring all around me, and it came with 'complete' surrender to Jesus. I am a human 'becoming' within a infinite dimensional creation.

Here it is and please make sure you listen to the video...an artist of whom I did not know.

It is absolutely perfect for me and I hope you feel it too. Thank you Jesus for this amazing life!!! Love you,Teresa

____________________________

"God gently and relentlessly teaches me art and beauty right in the midst of the meaningless, messy, and mundane of my life; He teaches me authenticity and integrity right in the midst of my clever disguises and sophisticated lies; He teaches me caring and compassion right in the midst of my blind ambition, petty foolishness, and the total mindlessness of my great strivings (and the 'unexpected' acrimony that ensues); He teaches me dignity and grace right in the midst of my carelessness, clumsiness, coarseness, and inconsideration; He teaches me hope, intimacy, and love right in the midst of my callousness, fears, panic, passivity, and perilous penchant for silent hate and subtle violence; He teaches me humility right in the midst of my delusions of grandeur; He teaches me patience right in the midst of what I find totally intolerable; He teaches me peace right in the midst of the storms of my life's absolute chaos; and then, right when I think the lessons are over, He teaches me awe and reverence right in the midst of Him." -- Yours Truly

And it takes as long as it takes for me to get the lessons, and there is a reason that that is usually longer than what is comfortable for me (you'll hear the reason at the end of the song). And if you feel a little caught between a rock and a hard place, between the past (and what you know - the "comfortable prison") and an unknown future (filled with lessons you are learning that you can't pretend you don't know), take a soothing listen, to gain some much needed perspective.
This is a beautiful song, written and sung by a very talented young woman, addressing a topic (that transition period between ignorance & naivete and maturity & wisdom) I find myself supporting many young people in these days, but if I'm totally honest, that's only because He is still teaching me. I have always been a slow learner, learning through trial and error - with embarrassingly much error, and age means nothing when it comes to spiritually maturing, really and truly.

Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUYAmVYnC-Y

Jim Spivey
Revolution Consulting
2219 McDuffie
Houston, TX 77019
(713) 854-4848

e-mail: jspivey@revolutionconsulting.com
website: www.revolutionconsulting.com
blog: http://www.revolutionconsulting.com/blogger.htm

"helping people wake up and come alive, connect deeply with God, themselves, and others,and choose a life of passion, purpose, and self-responsibility"

Wednesday

January 21, 2009 An Invitation To Heal

An Invitation To Heal

What would it take for each and every precious human being to feel so liberated and know who we are as we are created in God's image?

Only as I am seeing how God is revealing the depths of myself and Him within me can I truly say this. It is coming from honest heart felt invitation to do so. It comes from genuine deep felt love that is stronger than the fear to hide what needs to come into the Light. There is no more darkness, there is only His light. Deep sharing and love that invites this deep healing and catharsis.

We then can be exposed, vulnerable and broken in His presence and with each other and realize there is nothing hidden which cannot be healed.

There is a sacred honoring of each other in this invitation. It has no intentions of harm, only honor.

What an amazing journey we are all on together!

It is time. My heart goes out to you as my heart is being healed everyday. I want to invite you and honor you to find this safe place for your healing. Jesus is the way, the truth and the light. He is asking us to be here for each other in His love (not our confused, human definition of what we think this Love is). And in this sharing and in this community we hold each other in this sacred honoring place and invite whatever needs to happen for complete, total healing.

Tuesday

January 20, 2009 Prayer From The Heart

Prayer From The Heart

History is being made today. We are are great nation. All I want to do is pray. Not only for all people, but also for the safety of our incoming president. All we are asked to do is pray for those in authority and let God take care of them (and us). We do not have 'control'. Prayer is a heart to heart cry and conversation with God, when we cry out to Him from our hearts, He hears us. It is not our choice, it is His choice in all matters, when we let it be His, which is by submitting to Him and resting in Him that He has the perfect plan for our lives, always.

And to add, There is a lot of hate (fear) and wishing harm on some websites this week. Where is our heart when we can wish harm on any human being?

Nehemiah 1:5 Then I said: 6 let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel (the USA). I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father's house, have committed against you. 7 We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses. 8 "Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, 'If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, 9 but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.' 10 "They are your servants and your people, whom you redeemed by your great strength and your mighty hand. 11 O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man."

Monday

January 19, 2009 Renewed Revival

Renewed Revival

Once again I'll explain my heart as to why I send these. It brings me to the place of asking myself 'why and for whom am I doing this anyway?'. I know one thing for sure, these are stories of my desire to dive into God, first, and the deep searching within myself, of which I will never in this life understand it fully. It is my ongoing journey and I am loving me and you more and more everyday in this journey. It is my desire to connect with you. Your input and our sharing brings us closer together. We really have become a disconnected people in so many ways and my desire is to connect. And absolutely, Pam and Susan with my husband and family first. This is my journey, this is my story and my searching continually for His Truth and His Light as I am set free in this world of darkness.

So it is because I desire to connect with you and value your input as we search together this immeasurable, beautiful God created life.

______

Through the night one thing that kept ringing in my heart (now that I am able to distinguish this from my 'head') is 'revival must start in the heart'. There is so much expectation on what revival is and could be and has been. We either live in the past, wanting a duplication of what we 'think' happened based on history or our personal past experiences. Or we live in the present which is where it does happen and with a newness everyday, which is what we desire. Or we live in the future which we have no control over (girl, has this been a hard lesson for me to learn!) There has been a fire that has been lit and has been spreading. He promised that it would happen. It is moving 'within' us, 'for' us, and 'through' us connecting our hearts together with a deep, compassion, genuine Father God, Jesus, Holy Spirit Love.

Revival must start within our own heart. This renewing is 'within me' before I can make an offering. With this genuine 'inward' renewal, there is no faking it, no planning it, no preparing for it, no controlling it, no false teaching to duplicate it, no sensationalism to promote it, no legalism to demand it, no looking for it 'outside' of myself.

Many times I feel as though I stood alone for what my heart has known, but I know now that is no longer true as I am experiencing this in our community. A universal connection in the Body that transcends all man made denominations as hard as it is for our 'minds' to think it - no denomination can claim it. How can we claim God and His Spirit for ourselves?! Can I plan how He chooses for His Spirit to move? My primary concern must be 'within' me. And when I look within me and love me, then the supernatural happens all around me, yeah, and without my help!

We know within our hearts that we are eternally and universally connected far more than our mind and our physical eyes will allow us to see.

Whoa! Did I just have a thought! What if every church around the world would go outside of their doors just for one service and spend that time just loving people, with His love? Wow!

2 Corinthians 4:15 Every detail works to your advantage (All this is for your benefit-NIV) and to God's glory: more and more grace, more and more people, more and more praise! 16 So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. 17 These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. 18 There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever. __The Message

Sunday

January 18, 2009 Feeling Within My Family

Feeling Within My Family

Yesterday afternoon it hit me, we work so hard not to feel. The journey to open up our hearts has been longer than I could imagine (but only by looking at my age :-)

I was talking to my son Josh about us as a family. We shared the things we had talked about and planned together over the years; travel, eating, sports, being with people, being with other family, going to church, games, computers, work, building and making a home, cars, jobs, the mundane, school, even God's Word.....but we realized we never shared deep heart to heart feelings from and to each other.

We love each other and say it often, but there is this side of communicating that was missing, the deep heart communicating. Maybe over time we become even fearful of fear. Fear has no power over us unless we give it power. Where is the heart? Not the mind. Where is love felt? Not the mind. Where is feeling? Not the mind. I really liked what a former pastor said last Sunday at my church to describe this very thing. He called it our 'knower'-mind and our 'experiencer'-heart and that is so true.

My son Jesse and I shared late last night with each, Josh had gone back home and Ken went to bed, diving into seeking more about this question, 'why is it so hard to express feeling?" 'why is it harder to express deep hurt/pain feelings with family members?' Or anyone else? We discussed how we can't find our feelings by talking about others as a way to divert or avoid our fears. We also talked about how to distinguish between that line of exposing our fears and hiding our fears under masks or facades of things like backbiting, gossiping an accusing which isn't always easily recognized.

When we've stayed in the congnitive process as a means to fight or should I say bulldoze our way through life, for whatever reason, the path to our heart becomes dull or short circuits. But thank God, He has given us infinite chances to re-connect the path, both within ourself and with others.

What an amazing day, one that I 'feel' today. And for true healing to happen and extend past our own doors it is beautiful to begin within me and with my amazing family.

Perfect Love Casts Out All Fear.
God is Love.
His Love Endures Forever.

Saturday

January 17, 2009 A Beautiful Day

A Beautiful Day

Today is a beautiful day with all that it will bring.

When we stop resisting, it will stop persisting, actually the saying is What you resist will persist.

And for me the answer of how is not that easy. It takes careful, purposeful, present awareness, of myself and all that surrounds me, then it takes careful, purposeful, present dying to the circumstances which surround me.

The focus changes and love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control begin in the dying.

It's not that easy, but the Man Upstairs never said it would be.

Thank you God for a beautiful day!!!

This little fellow (assassin bug nymph) is looking for a beautiful day too :-)
This picture is called 'Looking forward to a beautiful day'.


http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3251/3056020504_5106ec2136_m.jpg

Double click on the photo and view this photo stream...
by 'I Travel East', On Explore, they are amazing.
There are 655 uploads.
Even Better here's the link
http://flickr.com/photos/i_travel_east/show/with/3007684272/

Friday

January 16, 2009 You Are So Beautiful

You Are So Beautiful

Over the past month I've asked several women, "Do you know you are beautiful?' Everyone of them said, 'not really' or 'I'm having a hard time with that', or they stop and can't answer or they right out say 'no'. It made me realize the deficit we all have. It has been compounded by false perception of airbrushed beauty as it is projected in the media as well as the retail vortex of wear it, have it, if you've got 'it', you're it, which is perpetrated through media schemes, the world's standards for beauty. The natural God given desire for the opposite sex and the attraction is confused by the world and women are starved and addicted to the attention of men as a means to determine their value and self worth. And when men don't measure up to fulfilling our self worth (and they never will) we as women turn this false perception that we are not beautiful inward.

I have been more keenly aware of women in my life who are having a hard time seeing themselves as beautiful and lovely, of course I could only see this because it has and is an ongoing learning process for me as well, but I can honestly say I see myself as beautiful today as I allow my life to be transformed every day.

Our earthly father is the earthly example of our Heavenly Father, but again he cannot and will never be our Perfect Father. But a little girl does not understand this. She sees her daddy with the pure, innocent loving heart of a child. In order for a woman to feel whole and complete by the time she ventures out in the world, if her innocence has been stripped or her beauty not appreciated and affirmed, or she is in anyway neglected by lack of protection (which may be outside of her sanctuary/home), violated, abandoned or abused, either overtly or covertly, her self worth and awareness of her 'total' beauty suffers greatly. She will then venture out into the world looking for a way to fill the void by seeking attention from men in all the wrong ways and spend endlessly on superficial adornment as a false sense of beauty.

The greatest gift an earthly father can give his daughter is loving her unconditionally, reminding her how beautiful she is (and not based on what she is wearing or achievement) and protecting her and her innocence, as well as admitting his human failures and redirecting her to the one and only Perfect Father in Heaven. If a father is not a living protective example in the best way humanly possible and lovingly acknowledge his failures in trying to be a loving, protective 'human' father, it will blind and obstruct his little girl from to being able to see the love of her Heavenly Father. She can only come to know her total beauty and self worth from the Father above, by the living example of her earthly father.

And yes, I am this daughter, an example of all these women who are continually healing the voids of our youth. It comes when there is patience and unconditional love from a man who understands the pain and hurt and affirms and offers protective unconditional love that was needed as a little girl. A woman never stops needing this unconditional love. And yes, women marry their father, looking for the Father.

This is me, my mom, my sisters, my close dear friends and women everywhere, young and old, whom I feel so connected with today. I want to let you know, 'You are so beautiful!!'. Can you see? Can you feel it?

I must add this in addition to what many women seek in regard to the outward appearance when Paul speaks of adornment and hair, to take it deeper, this is not an example of 'appearing holy', it is that our beauty has no need for these things and cannot add anything more to how beautiful we are already.

And obviously today I am speaking for us women but the same love is necessary for little boys and men.

Here is the most beautiful letter to us from our Heavenly Father, we are beautiful in His eyes. I am my Lover's and He is mine....we longingly search for His Love.

Song of Solomon 4:1 How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Mount Gilead. 2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone. 3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate. 4 Your neck is like the tower of David, built with elegance; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors. 5 Your two breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies. 6 Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of incense. 7 All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you. 8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride, come with me from Lebanon. __NIV

You are so beautiful!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tl_iktIzn-o&feature=related

Thursday

January 15, 2009 One Single Body

One Single Body

What do we see? What do we take the time to see? What can we do? What can we allow ourselves to feel, see and do?....Everything which is necessary to offer a place of healing to others and healing for ourselves.

As we allow our heart (the feeling core of our being) distinguished from our mind (the thinking part of our being), we become vulnerable and begin to do all those things we tried so hard to keep from doing in the presence of others. Like, feeling deeply, crying uncontrollably (and not caring if you look like a fool), clinging to every word spoken, because we dare not miss a word that is being spoken or shared because this is our story now. This becomes revelation of 'my life's story' because we are all one, The Body-One Body.

In the ineffable depth of being One Body we all become a 'singular' breathing, feeling, communicating body/unit. Every individual member is an essential part of ourselves within this 'singular' unit. Can you grasp this depth? It isn't just the words that we read anymore, it isn't any longer that each member has their own gifts to share, we are one. We are the mirrors, how beautiful Connie, reflections of ourselves in each other, multi-faceted but 'singular' lavers, washing each other, wow, not just ourselves. Experiencing too much of this almost makes me feel like I will walk straight into heaven. If I disappear you'll know where I am :-).

There is Blood flowing through us (singular pumping circulating system) and a singular lung that is breathing for us, single pair of eyes that we begin to see ourselves, ears that we begin to hear ourselves, a single pair of hands as we touch each other and hold each other, we touch and hold ourselves. Oh, don't miss this, the beauty and depth of what is occurring all around us. I did for many years. What did it take for me to feel this? Finding a place where my fear is allowed to be expressed because when love is there every evil thing which comes against us must flee. Fear cannot stay, it must flee. Here is our healing, here we are opened up and are exposed before God and the beauty of the Lord fills us to overflowing.

Romans 12

Wednesday

January 14, 2009 The Battle Within

The Battle Within

James 4:1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. 4 You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? 6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." 7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. ___NIV

Wow, is this not in sync with my dream last night. When I woke up this scripture came to my heart as a description or interpretation of my dream. I don't remember it all but what I do remember is right with this scripture. As I know fighting and quarreling starts with 'myself'. At the end of my dream I faced all the 'myselves', and they even had words on them, pride, haughtiness, fear, and even beauty in me, the gifts in me. They were all lined up (reminded me of Matrix Revolutions when Neo defeats all the evil Smiths). Me just resisting them was enough as I said to them I will never be afraid of you again, I cannot be moved, I am planted (without needing to say on the Rock, this was automatically understood). And having to think a bit about why the fighting and quarreling is also about the beauty in me and the gifts in me, the battle is in receiving these, not in resisting these. The 'myselves' were every facet of who I am, and I must look.

Oh, looking deeper, as I see freedom and liberty in admitting the battle with evil starts within me, not without there. So once I am able to see this, the battle out there no longer can affect me.

And to sum it all up, these 'myselves' are the fighting, quarreling, 'double-mindedness' which separates me from God. And to think the fighting and quarreling all along was within, not without. No matter how far I get, I will never fully get it all, but this is real life, because this life is an infinite growing, learning process to the Throne of Grace. I am never worthy to stand in the awesome presence of God, but saved by His Grace He lifts me up.

The movie may be too much for some because it depicts the very dark side of this life but this last segment is a great fantasy version of how Jesus fought and gave His life for us in this real life battle where the enemy was defeated once and for all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ja1Zf-XhaK0&feature=related

Tuesday

January 13, 2009 Awareness of the Beauty All Around Us

Awareness of the Beauty All Around Us

We get preoccupied with ourselves, the words we speak, the plans and projects we conceive, that we become immune to the glory of creation. We barely notice the cloud passing over the moon or the dewdrops clinging to the rose petals. The ice on the pond comes and goes. The wild blackberries ripen and wither. The blackbird nests outside our bedroom window, but we don't see her. We avoid the cold and the heat. We refrigerate ourselves in the summer and entomb ourselves in plastic in the winter. We rake up every leaf as fast as it falls. We are so accustomed to buying prepackaged meats and fish and fowl in supermarkets, we never think about the bounty of God's creation. We grow complacent and lead practical lives. We miss the experience of awe, reverence and wonder. (John Puls, A Spirituality of Comparison)

Our world is saturated with grace, and the lurking presence of God is revealed not only in spirit but in matter-in a deer leaping across a meadow in the flight of an eagle, in the fire and water, in a rainbow after a summer storm, in a gentle doe streaking through a forest, in Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, in a child licking a chocolate ice cream cone, in a woman with windblown hair, God intended for us to discover His loving presence in the world around us.___Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning

I don't know if any of you caught this too. Sunday afternoon I was watching a program on PBS comparing inner city children and children who live in the suburbs, in rural areas, in the country. It was amazing to see the differences as the children who were brought up in the country had such profound awareness of death and life and God's creation all around them. The inner city children had developed wonderful community and shared their lives and playtime together, the suburban children preferred indoor computers, play games rather than outdoor play. They had not developed an awareness of their surroundings, which was shown as they depicted in an assignment to build painted cardboard construction of their lives. And in their buildings and on the streets there were no people. The suburban children were aware of malls and shops and the buildings. The inner city children had doors that opened and closed on the buildings, with people on beds in hospitals, in the windows waving, etc.

A 7 or 8 year old boy who lived in the country said "In the morning when I open up the door and the warmth of the air hits my face and the birds are singing, and the sun is coming up, I just love it".

Even the keen awareness of life and death were missed by the suburban children as meat and produce were bought prepackaged in stores rather than experiencing the sacredness of life through watching an animal live and be slaughtered and expriencing and watching their own fruit and vegetables grow.

What must we do to get back to this and even more so, help our children to see this beauty which God has given us, this beautiful gift?

Monday

January 12, 2009 What Rejection Does Not Define

What Rejection Does Not Define

In this day and age of competitiveness, nobody can claim of not being rejected some time in his life or the other. To be honest, almost everyone has faced rejection irrespective of being rich or poor. I happened to ask various people in seminars this question about rejection and almost everyone put his hand up and affirmed that he or she had faced rejection.Now there is no doubt that everyone has faced rejection at some particular time or the other in his life. It is a fact that rejection hurts. However, you have to make an important distinction between rejection and hurt feelings. People have fear of rejection and at times it is even before the rejection actually happens. Rejection or fear of rejection is like any other challenge in life. Studies show that people just shy away from doing something due to the fear of rejection. The fact of the matter is as to how you deal with the situation since rejection has the power to define or refine you.
Rejection can be defined in many ways. Before the actual rejection happens, it comes with a fear factor in you and you feel like running away from the real situation. Some people do not have the power to fight back and just give up the hope which leads them to further downfall. You need to believe that it is the rejection which reflects your worth to stand against all tides of life. You need to indulge in socializing and attend some parties. Studies reveal that partying to some extent reduces the fear factor of being rejected.In case you feel a rejection attack, do not be afraid to seek advice from peers and you need to have a clear focus of life at the hour of rejection. The true meaning of fear is false evidence appearing real. In case you feel rejected, take some tips from the management gurus as they will definitely teach you something worthwhile. Never have this fear in mind that if a person says no today, he/she will say no in future also.
http://www.aboutstressmanagement.com/stressrelief/stress-management/causes-of-stress/dont-be-afraid-of-rejection-it-is-inevitable.htm

We can all relate to this. Rejection does not define who we are, but we do have a choice of how we deal with it. Whether on job interviews, in relationships both intimate and casual, with spouses, with family members, coworkers, and church members, there will always be rejection in some form because we are are all humans 'becoming'. We have a choice of how much it takes away from us. Rejection does not define who we are.

I use to think that I was a woman who had it all together (my illusion and far from 'all together')and honestly there seemed to be no obstacles and very little which I was afraid of. Everything I went after, I acquired (an illusion also), which now is a horrible thing to recall because I really did believed this. My illusion was about being successful in everything and I made it my reality.

This critical reaction was my ego driven, frenzied life where I would pursue and acquire. There were those times where I was rejected but soon realized with carefully planned assertion I would go back until I did acquire. One eye opener to my past thinking occurred recently, after applying for an art job which I was fully qualified to do, I didn't get it and I said later 'it was the first time in my 30 year art profession that I didn't get or keep a job or client'. How devastating, no, how devastating that I ever thought I could get everything I pursued.

Now to get to the real comparison on this part of my previous life with my current life. Now, I am becoming so sure of the woman God created me to be, that when rejection occurs it is a way to remind me to look at who I am, and it's not defined by the rejection.

Rejection does not define who I am or who I am created to be. Now I know that anything I acquire or anything I do is only as I submit to the Lord's will in my life and try the best that is humanly possible to keep my heart in communication with Him. He is my One Abba, father, husband, brother, sister, friend and He never rejects me or you.

So did I say it enough? Rejection does not define who we are or who we are created to be.

Sunday

January 11, 2009 Diving into Honesty with Grace

Diving into Honesty with Grace

Honesty is such a precious commodity that it is seldom found in the world or the church. Honesty requires the truthfulness to admit the attachment and addictions that control our attention, dominate our consciousness and function as false gods. I can be addicted to vodka or to being nice, to tobacco or being loved, or cocaine or being right, to gambling or relationships, to golf or gossiping. Perhaps my addiction is food, performance, money, popularity, power, revenge, reading, television, weight, or winning. When we give anything more priority than we give to God, we commit idolatry. Thus we all commit idolatry countless times every day.

Once we accept the gospel of grace and seek to shed defense mechanisms and subterfuges, honesty becomes both more difficult and more important. Honesty involves the willingness to face the truth of who we are, regardless of how threatening or unpleasant our perceptions may be. It means hanging in there with ourselves and with God, learning our mind tricks by experiencing how they defeat us, recognizing our avoidances, acknowledging our lapses, learning completely that we cannot handle it ourselves. This steady self-confrontation requires strength and courage. We cannot use failure as an excuse to quit trying. (Gerald G May Addiction and Grace).

Without personal honesty I can easily construct an image of myself that is rather impressive. Complacency will then replace delight in God. Many of us do not want the truth about ourselves, we prefer to be reassured of our virtue, as illustrated in this vignette.

One day a preacher said to a friend. 'We have just had the greatest revival our church has experienced in many years."
"How many did you add to your church membership?"
"None, We lost five hundred." (De Mello 74)

To be alive is to be broken. And to be broken is to stand in the need of grace. Honesty keeps us in touch with our neediness and the truth that we are saved sinners. There is a beautiful transparency to honest disciples who never wear a false face and do not pretend to be anything but what they are.

___ The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning

From my current experiences through this journey it was easy for me to say I was honest (and this is an ongoing learning journey), but when it came to diving past my perceptions of what I thought (the mindless lies which inhibit God's highest and healing desire for me), those tapes which produced fear (that is the unhealthy fear), this was as Manning says, 'more difficult' and 'more important'.

I am enjoying and not afraid of this journey of 'hanging in there with myself and with God'.

Saturday

January 10, 2009 Second Chance to Love

Second Chance to Love

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. Albert Einstein

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill

What a beautiful day!!

I am remembering that my life isn't about me. It is about giving it away. To give and to receive. Not for gain or selfish desires. Starting with my magnificent family.

Being totally transparent is a place where I am no longer afraid to go. And I am sharing my life rather than turning my personal experience or excerpts from psychological study or family counseling into a teaching of what can only come through individual searching. If I had only had the deeper understanding of this in my young life as a wife and mother. What I am saying is not just the words on this email, what I am typing is not just the letters to form a thought. I am living from the inside-out. There is no other way.

I shared yesterday what Paul said, 'husbands love your wives'. This is for each one of us not just husbands. This is purposeful, absolutely necessary, no room for short cuts, loving, from and given to each person whom God has blessed us with in our lives starting within our own family.

I have lived and experienced and observed, now grieving, as I see the very thing I did not do - to love extravagantly those who have been entrusted to my care. There was never any room for any damaging, impatient, overlooking with these precious human lives, my gifts from God. How can I ever thank Him for giving me a second chance while I am still living?!

I am not explaining the depth of what I am feeling about this very well and I'm not sure how much work it will take for me to ever be able to explain what is so deep. All I know...it is in the very center of the heart.

Friday

January 9, 2009 Expressing Love

Expressing Love

I started off as a teacher, but realized I needed to get the teacher out of me and just communicate my heart and not my mind. So for a few months out of last year I hope I was able to separate myself from the teacher in me and just be me.

After I typed my message yesterday '24/7 Beautiful', I immediately went to my husband Ken and asked 'do you know how beautiful you are?' and those of you who know Ken can see his great smile as he says 'yes!'

It made me think of how much of my life, was neither giving or receiving love. I'm not talking about the comments, 'you look marvelous' or 'I love what you are wearing' or 'I love the color of your hair' or even the fleeting repetition of 'I love you'. What came to me was that intimate, vulnerable deep heart connection as we speak of a deeper love for each other. Husband to wife, wife to husband, father to son, father to daughter, mother to son, mother to daughter, sister to brother, brother to sister, and all who are our family, not just within our immediate families and home, but our bigger extended home.

My very first Love Machine... but first if I was never clear or you missed what I'm referring to or what Love Machine is, I'll tell you briefly in my words the best I am able. It is a heart sharing communion with hearts of all ages and all walks of life, coming together in Love and Truth as we search for Love and Truth. Sharing about our walk in this challenging, treacherous world and life and loving with the love of Jesus. It was started by Jim Spivey, which you have heard me mention and everyone who knows Jim, knows he doesn't want to be called out, ever, he is an angel in disguise, striving to be an example of Jesus for all who are searching. If he should point at anyone it is always to Jesus. Love Machine is the fruit of this call and vision from the Lord. (Sorry Jim, I know you have a hard time with attention on you). There are Love Machines everywhere now and it extends from and within the hearts of those who are searching. So, I invite anyone who is drawn to be a part of these amazing meetings to come, they are always there and several available around the city and different days of the week.

So now, back to my very first Love Machine. I guess I was mesmerized as I listened to grown men cry and talk with such a deep love for their wives. I honestly had never in my life seen this in a public setting and it wasn't fake, it was real. Also, as a Christian I had never seen such a deep overwhelming, uninhibited expression of love for Jesus expressed. Oh, I love Jesus, but this was deeper than I understood or experienced and I wanted more. Because everything is all about Him and only Him.

What I want to ask, including for myself, if today we can begin this deep heart expression with those around us, wherever you are. By opening up and speaking with a heart connection and looking at those near us straight in the eyes and saying 'you are so beautiful', 'I love you so much'. Look into their soul, their very God created soul. Open our eyes to see the beauty everywhere. To really touch and feel them, receive back the love you are giving. I am not talking about just words or an act of love. I am talking about souls touching and experiencing God from us and through us, from them and through them. The place where healing and communion occur, the place where we are born again and again and again and again... because we really are living in heaven on earth. We are not the flesh we look at everyday, we need to look beyond the flesh.

Husband adore your wife, wife adore your husband, parents adore your children, children adore your parents, brothers and sisters adore each other. This is only from the heart (not the mind).

I have a family who loves deeply and I love them deeply. What beautiful communion!

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church - a love marked by giving (not things), not getting (not things). 26 Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, 27 dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. 28 And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor - since they're already "one" in marriage. 29 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the church, 30 since we are part of his body. 31 And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." 32 This is a huge mystery, (but becoming clearer) and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. 33 And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband. ____ The Message

This is amazing love which 'words', 'loyia' or groups of letters from the alphabet in any language cannot express.

Thursday

January 8, 2009 24/7 Beautiful

Well, I missed typing yesterday because of pain. That is, a torn rotator cuff, my right shoulder. Today it feels much better, after writhing and yelling on the floor, which is where I finally ended up at 3am Wednesday morning, like a woman in labor until I finally got up and went to the computer and carefully stretched my arm out enough to type and search on the computer for an answer to some relief from the pain. And I found it: RICE, Rest, Ice, Compression and Exercise. I was trying to rest! Compression was out of the question since it was hurting to the touch and exercise will have to come when I can get some movement in it. So with only one option left I did the ice pack and wrapped my shoulder, prayed (which I'm sure was the best of all I did) and laid my arm on a pillow for some comfort. (oh, I forgot about the Aleve) and finally went to sleep. Boy if that won't make you cry out to the Lord!!! And I see it is a wonderful place to be, even if it is pain that gets me there. Enough about my shoulder, it's better, I slept well last night and pain free today so I'll work on the other 3 of the RICE.

What I woke up with this morning is a message for everyone, including me. Please let it sink deep inside of you, because you are so beautiful!!

You are not what you do, or for that matter, don't do. You are beautiful and wonderful and awesome just for who you are. And that is 24/7, awake or sleeping. You are a beautiful person, a human 'becoming' created in God's image, and 'with a heart like His'!!!

I think for some, including me it is hard to let this go deep, but when we are able, wow, does everything change. There is beautiful, awesome rest, no more performing, or the need for approval or strokes. This is where we are able to stand alone, love God with our whole being, love ourselves and then that love is passed through us to others, and it is His Love.

I think this is worth repeating in order to not let this just slide by, it is so important to get this.

You are not what you do, or for that matter, don't do. You are beautiful and wonderful and awesome just for who you are. And that is 24/7, awake or sleeping. You are a beautiful person, a human 'becoming', created in God's image, and 'with a heart like His'!!!

Psalm 139:12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You. (my insert: did you get this?) 13 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. 14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.

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Tuesday

January 6, 2009 Birth and Pain

Birth and Pain

I once had a coworker tell me the pain of a kidney stone was the same as labor pain, so those of you who have had a kidney stone know what labor feels like. It's kind of silly but as I get older any pain in my body isn't measured from 1 to 10, it is measured to labor pains. So when I have a throbbing pain in my joint (as I do in my shoulder) I compare it to labor pains :-) or should I put :-(.

Anyway, over last year (it always brings awareness of this fleeting life with a new year) I began to realize all of life's experiences is like a birth. The process of labor and it's pain is unavoidable. Even the process of death is labor to a new birth.

The beauty of life for me now is measured as birth. I don't see death in this process, only of the flesh. We are born in flesh and we are born in spirit. When the labor pains stop there is life, glorious, beautiful life.

Unavoidable, mountains and valleys...

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3231/3001793255_5b3c50f8cb_m.jpg

Beauty with thorns...

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1324/745500260_c8bf9decd1_m.jpg

New life and birth to death to New life and birth again.

Video & Song
'Through It All', Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33aGaYAZvL4

Monday

January 5, 2009 Perfect and Imperfect

Perfect and Imperfect

I found this interesting article. This type of study on the function of our brain and bodies has always fascinated me. It is a condensed explanation on the progression of brain/body responses.

My conclusion after reading this; We do not live in a perfect world with perfect responses, perfect reactions, perfect relationships...nor are our bodies perfect. One thing I am so thankful for is being able to see the beauty in the imperfection within me and all around me, and within the imperfection I am reminded that I do have a perfectly programmed brain and body from my Perfect Creator and these functions are constantly being interrupted by this imperfect world.

I hope you find this interesting.

Brain/Body Bio-Chemistry

From the moment of birth, when we take our first breath, until we bid this world good-bye and take our last, our entire life's experiences have been recorded in astounding detail. Our ability to recall information, react to situations and make decisions has been going on non-stop from shortly after our conception. As the heart is continuously pumping its life-giving fluid and oxygen throughout the body, so the brain is acting as control-central, sending electrical information to each and every bodily function both in consciousness and in coma. From the slightest change in temperature, to the full alert of a fight or flight response, the brain is always on and has everything under complete control . . . .or does it?

Our mind's ability to produce logical and rational decisions is subjectively based on the brain's chemical balance or imbalance at any particular moment. If we were brought into this world as relatively genetically balanced neural-chemically, if we experienced little or no emotional trauma, chemicals or drugs, chances are that we grew up as a balanced, healthy, loving adult. But what about the rest of us? As our brain chemistry is constantly changing and as events unfold in our lives, so too are our physiological responses, which in turn, affect our brain chemistry. So the cycle continues, deeper and deeper into a condition we refer to as disease. Be it mental or physical, it is still dis-ease or imbalance.

Human babies enter this world as the most dependent, complex and slowly developing of all mammals. In a sense, we are only partially developed. Over the next 10 to 12 years, our brain function, motor skills and personality develop into who we will be as adults. While our brain is building neurons at an astounding rate, memory is being formed both consciously and subconsciously that will ultimately affect us for the rest of our lives.

It is said that there are only two basic human emotions, love and fear. All other emotional responses are just sub-categories or a combination of neural chemical responses to the above. As we experience life, our brain is continuously processing information; sorting, filing, recording, referring back to past situations and projecting into the future, to determine what necessary chemicals will be required for any particular encounter. This information is transferred from all of our sensory perceptions; sight, smell, touch, sound and taste. Thousands of sensations are all processing continuously in the name of survival, comfort and the chemical satisfaction of the senses.

Of the possible hundreds of brain chemicals, only about fifty have been identified. One of the major brain chemicals and pathways is Dopamine (DA), which is associated with the emotions of love, energy, euphoria, emotional response, automatic movement, etc. Another is Serotonin (5HT), which is thought to be involved with sleep, relaxation, sensory perception, temperature regulation, control of mood, etc. Oxytocin (OT) improves memory and is connected with bonding, love and compassion. Noradrenalin (NA) is associated with the stressor hormones, fight or flight response, epinephrine, cortisol, adrenaline and others.

In a perfect world of love, free of fear, chemicals and contamination, our brain chemistry would remain in balance for our entire life. But our modern society has created a different set of rules. As our neurons, brain cells and memories are in their early years of formation, we are developing our sense of self. Any trauma, fears, attacks or perceptions of a threat to our self, sets off the fight or flight chemical response. This response is then logged into our permanent memory bank for instant recall at a later date. The problem begins to arise after the perceived threat has passed. The chemical imbalances never reset themselves back to zero. The brain now has a new baseline and the senses have been elevated in anticipation of the next seemingly threatening situation. Over years and even decades of constant fear, stressor stimulation and continuing chemical imbalance, the body starts to physically break down. It has valiantly been doing its job of protecting and adapting. The immune stressors of the brain signals constant fight or flight response. Coupled with the influence of toxic metals, chemicals and drugs, the brain creates a disease or a system failure waiting to happen. The sensitive neural conditioning actually starts to take on the appearance of post-traumatic stress disorder, OCD's or an autoimmune disorder. As the body conditions itself to excessive adrenalin, cortisol, etc., the normal hormone and chemical responses decrease, creating other symptoms and dysfunctions. This same scenario could be re-created through a sports activity, carrier, the need to succeed, peer pressure, family, illness, chemical sensitivities, etc. The excessive, prolonged release of cortisol and adrenalin is just now being recognized for it's catabolic nature and contribution to weight gain, sleep disorders, body tissue breakdown, neurological dysfunction, etc.

There is also the ever-present influence of over 70,000 known chemicals, food additives and neural toxins in our environment. These toxins are slowly eroding neural receptors, our cognitive capacity, the ability to cope and our neurological response time. Our brain functions on millions of electrical impulse circuits, while most of the predominant heavy metals are nonconductive in nature. As the brain naturally strives for balance or homeostasis, it can develop false cravings, excessive eating disorders, alcohol and drug dependencies, etc.

The treatment of brain chemistry imbalances with the use of prescription drugs is only masking the underlying condition. The designed action of the drug is to block receptor sensitivity or neutralize the excessive natural chemicals without addressing the original creation of the condition. Over time, as the underlying condition worsens and we go to stronger and stronger masking agents, we eventually have to deal with our imbalanced nature through the physical manifestation of disease. .......
http://ssl.maxamlabs.com/MAXAM_ASP_CMS_Templates_STD_HTML.asp?PageINDX=14


So as I look to my Creator for healing this imperfect mind and body, I find it, then I can pass on this gift of His healing Love.

Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. 2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Sunday

January 4, 2009 I am weak but He is strong

I am weak but He is strong

At various times of my walk as a Christian any conversation about despair or fear was...well,... feared. Maybe it wasn't doctrine or misinterpretation of scriptures? Maybe it is individual fear?

As we share our despair and fear it doesn't make us weak Christians. I now see it makes us beautifullyreal and strong Christians because we acknowledge that we can do nothing without our Lord or alone without each other. In the sharing we are humans 'becoming' more like Jesus because our desire is to please Him alone.

To hear a pastor share his or her fear is so incredibly freeing and invites us all to do the same. Pastors and leaders please lead the way to the One and only True King and Savior. I pray for those everywhere in the Body, that as those in leadership can show their strength in their weaknesses and release their fears, the Body will find the same heart and be healed.

Saturday

January 3, 2009 My New Life

My New Life

The New Year is starting with many possibilities. All exciting for Ken and I. Now I see the real tests are coming in these, when and if they happen. I say 'if' because they are in transition and only God knows the final outcome.But if they should, everything we have been through has been to prepare our hearts for what is coming. It is my desire that I don't go back to the mania before we lost (no, not lost, gained) everything. Our ideals have changed. Our fears have settled, as we have seen God come through for us every time through community, brothers and sisters. He had always before but a life changing alteration had to take place in our lives to go deeper into His love to experience Him more.

What I know now is, everything I have outside of needs is for His Kingdom. The Way in the book of Acts is no longer an unattainable real life story but one that can be completely lived out in this modern day with 'joyful expectation' or 'joyful waiting' or 'joyous anticipation' (wow J.S. and S.G. how this is sticking with me!).

The preparation is for His purpose. I want to be a part of His army, one who is willing to die to self and die tothis world and 'all' its temptations and 'all' its illusion of a good life.

This is my 'new' life.

Friday

January 2, 2009 Asking Prayer

Asking Prayer

I want to pray a prayer that isn't self centered, demanding, or one that forgets Who God is and who I am.

Often my prayer gave no honor or respect to my Creator, my Savior or my Holy Spirit. And to be honest I hear it ringing in my ears these commands (because they were not asking) to God. My prayers exposed my selfish, fearful and anxious heart 'God please fix it quick', 'God please open the doors to a beautiful never obstructed path', 'God, fill my house, my car, my closet' and maybe more honorable prayer, 'God please take care of my family and friends, fill their house, car and closet'... and this was not in our spirit.

I've thought about how I reminded God of what His Word says in order to get what I needed, even in more serious situations like health and direction. I prayed telling him what to do, quoting His Word back to Him then reminding Him 'Your Word says this, and You cannot lie, therefore....'.

Several dear to me have been sharing about prayer. Prayer that is heart opening. This is prayer where I remember in His presence that I can do nothing without Him and for those I pray that they can do nothing without Him. Falling on my face in His presence prayer (but this only happens when ego, self and filled up days are gone), because I am experiencing Who He Is in comparison to who I am. Who am I that I should remind, tell, manipulate, bargain with and even more alarming, plan my own life (or anyone else's)?! All of this I beg to be washed away because they are only obstructions to His constant, glorious plan and purpose for my life.

Mark 11:24 24 "Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask (not tell or command), believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you.

What happens when I work on myself to fully trust Him? I can be open and honest about my fears (which He floods away with His Love). I am also able to be His slave and allow Him to be my Master. There is no more reminding or telling or screaming at Him what He already knows. There is only prayer (beautiful conversation), asking (with a trembling heart), believing (knowing He is my Abba, Daddy, Pappa and He will not give me a snake or a stone) and 'joyful waiting' to receive on His terms (which is never misguided). And to think the one prayer I use to be most afraid of, 'Lord, I surrender to Your will', as if He would ask me something I wouldn't, couldn't or shouldn't do.

Father, Abba, Daddy,Please forgive me for my heartless ways, forgive me for dishonoring You, I was so blind. May my prayers be sweet smelling incense to You not my putrid regurgitation.I ask You, would You please take care of my family, my brothers and sisters (and me)? Please would you keep us safe and show us Your way.
Lord, I surrender to Your will.
I love You,
The one You called Teresa

Thursday

January 1, 2009 Living Truth and Living Truth

Living Truth and Living Truth

Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships. ~ unknown author

To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. William Shakespeare

Falsehood is easy, truth so difficult. George Eliot

We know the truth, not only by the reason, but by the heart. Blaise Pascal


The ideals which have lighted me on my way and time after time given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Truth, Goodness, and Beauty. . . . The ordinary objects of human endeavour -- property, outward success, luxury -- have always seemed to me contemptible. Albert Einstein

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. Jesus


I perish if I refuse the Truth, and for the same Truth I am not afraid to perish. Perish, one is in the spirit, one is in the flesh. 'And if I perish, I perish', Esther. But like Esther, I will live when I go before the King on behalf of a desperate nation.

Out of this long myopic life, I begin to see more clearly and desire more of living Truth not only for myself but to share with others. My desire is for more than 'superficial relationships' it is to transfer and receive deeply His living Truth which is the most loving thing I can do for those near and in my heart.

Jesus said over and over, 'Verily I say to you' that is, 'I tell you the Truth'. He could not lie. Every word that He spoke was His own Truth and He was not believed. What has changed in this world? What difference can we make sharing Truth in His love? Can you see this transformation?

Wow, it is almost more than this finite mind can handle, I could die just thinking about it!!

And N.K. I'm not stopping, I guess there must be an endless river of life flowing out of me and I really don't need anyone to validate me, I am learning that there is only One to Whom I need to look to for that.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

My husband Ken is slaving in the kitchen being a servant, and fixing an awesome typical Southern New Year's meal for all of the family....mmmm good. And not me :-) Oh, I'm will be making Ken's grandmother Poppy's famous cord of cornbread. In case you don't know what that is, I have her iron skillets the corn bread is made from scratch and baked in the iron skillet. If you want to join us just come over in about an hour, I mean that!!

And this is life...by the time you get this it will be almost 2 hours later because I'm fighting with IE on speed this morning... :-( ..... and I have DSL :-) But come and join us anyway if you like...I do mean that!!!