January 11, 2009 Diving into Honesty with Grace

Diving into Honesty with Grace

Honesty is such a precious commodity that it is seldom found in the world or the church. Honesty requires the truthfulness to admit the attachment and addictions that control our attention, dominate our consciousness and function as false gods. I can be addicted to vodka or to being nice, to tobacco or being loved, or cocaine or being right, to gambling or relationships, to golf or gossiping. Perhaps my addiction is food, performance, money, popularity, power, revenge, reading, television, weight, or winning. When we give anything more priority than we give to God, we commit idolatry. Thus we all commit idolatry countless times every day.

Once we accept the gospel of grace and seek to shed defense mechanisms and subterfuges, honesty becomes both more difficult and more important. Honesty involves the willingness to face the truth of who we are, regardless of how threatening or unpleasant our perceptions may be. It means hanging in there with ourselves and with God, learning our mind tricks by experiencing how they defeat us, recognizing our avoidances, acknowledging our lapses, learning completely that we cannot handle it ourselves. This steady self-confrontation requires strength and courage. We cannot use failure as an excuse to quit trying. (Gerald G May Addiction and Grace).

Without personal honesty I can easily construct an image of myself that is rather impressive. Complacency will then replace delight in God. Many of us do not want the truth about ourselves, we prefer to be reassured of our virtue, as illustrated in this vignette.

One day a preacher said to a friend. 'We have just had the greatest revival our church has experienced in many years."
"How many did you add to your church membership?"
"None, We lost five hundred." (De Mello 74)

To be alive is to be broken. And to be broken is to stand in the need of grace. Honesty keeps us in touch with our neediness and the truth that we are saved sinners. There is a beautiful transparency to honest disciples who never wear a false face and do not pretend to be anything but what they are.

___ The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning

From my current experiences through this journey it was easy for me to say I was honest (and this is an ongoing learning journey), but when it came to diving past my perceptions of what I thought (the mindless lies which inhibit God's highest and healing desire for me), those tapes which produced fear (that is the unhealthy fear), this was as Manning says, 'more difficult' and 'more important'.

I am enjoying and not afraid of this journey of 'hanging in there with myself and with God'.