Unforgiveness, hatred and bitterness?...
Whoa, Nellie do I dare? This is a heavy duty topic. Let me blow the doors off one more time with my (really deep) inner work exposed in order that I may be continually set free, this is an ongoing process throughout life, I will lead the way in order that others may feel free to be real and look, in order that the 'truth' will set us free. Every once in awhile this topic comes up, but really maybe it should be out there every day. Every once in awhile it is brought up in church (briefly). I suppose we are all afraid of this 'truth'. It is so necessary to stay in check on these all the time. 'These' have been the reasons for much of my staggering, dragging and struggling, past illnesses, inner turmoil, and a need to run away from what is difficult to deal with.
Our entire life is an ongoing crisis, we struggle to make sense of it all and we can't. We are hurt and it may continue depending on the relationships. People 'hurt' us throughout our lives and they are not always aware of what they are doing, they are like us, operating out of the same struggles. We are all the same.
When I am ready to throw in the towel (this is a crucial point of looking at these feelings) I want to give up on family, marriage or any other relationship, when I want to bail out, some 'angel' comes along to say 'remember Teresa you are in this battle because you chose to in following Him' and another 'remember Teresa you maybe physically and emotionally separated, but you are not spiritually separated' in regard to when Ken and I were separated. So then I must look and hold myself in this place to really look at it regardless of how bad I've been hurt. And to think that my brother had the nerve to speak (and initially I wasn't happy, What Lord, You say I can stand steady in this storm, again?) what the Lord was saying through him to me, and I know it was the Lord speaking through Him, I either listened or rejected what I knew was Truth. And it came at the last minute and not a day before when I was crying out, it was when I gave up! Isn't it always that way?
There is a tremendous and continuous amount of hurt day after day. It doesn't matter the premise from which it comes, it just is. My greatest task in this life is to try and keep 'hurt' at just 'hurt', to confess my sins daily and ask for peace before it becomes unforgiveness before they become hate and and deep bitterness. The deep seeds of the latter are much harder to pull up from the roots and when the growth from them are cut off, the roots are still there. So I confess yes, I've let hurt become unforgiveness and then become hate and bitterness, but I have a Lord who loves me regardless and if we allow Him, He will dig up the deepest of the roots. I release 'hurt' and 'pain' to Him and if there are those deep roots I ask Him to show me that I may ask for forgiveness for complete and total healing.
This is what the Lord wants for us all....to be set free.
And I don't want to leave without adding, the way to healing is to express your hurt, your anger and your pain. We don't have to be afraid of these, we can come out on the other side with forgiveness and loving kindness.
Ephesians 4: 26 "Be angry, and do not sin": do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil. 28 Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2035/2209253209_de28445e12_m.jpg
Video & Song
'Inside Out' Hillsong United
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2bXfNj3dvk&feature=related
His Heart My Heart Your Heart
Continuously joined together, going on without interruption.
One continuous expression of love.
Whoa, Nellie do I dare? This is a heavy duty topic. Let me blow the doors off one more time with my (really deep) inner work exposed in order that I may be continually set free, this is an ongoing process throughout life, I will lead the way in order that others may feel free to be real and look, in order that the 'truth' will set us free. Every once in awhile this topic comes up, but really maybe it should be out there every day. Every once in awhile it is brought up in church (briefly). I suppose we are all afraid of this 'truth'. It is so necessary to stay in check on these all the time. 'These' have been the reasons for much of my staggering, dragging and struggling, past illnesses, inner turmoil, and a need to run away from what is difficult to deal with.
Our entire life is an ongoing crisis, we struggle to make sense of it all and we can't. We are hurt and it may continue depending on the relationships. People 'hurt' us throughout our lives and they are not always aware of what they are doing, they are like us, operating out of the same struggles. We are all the same.
When I am ready to throw in the towel (this is a crucial point of looking at these feelings) I want to give up on family, marriage or any other relationship, when I want to bail out, some 'angel' comes along to say 'remember Teresa you are in this battle because you chose to in following Him' and another 'remember Teresa you maybe physically and emotionally separated, but you are not spiritually separated' in regard to when Ken and I were separated. So then I must look and hold myself in this place to really look at it regardless of how bad I've been hurt. And to think that my brother had the nerve to speak (and initially I wasn't happy, What Lord, You say I can stand steady in this storm, again?) what the Lord was saying through him to me, and I know it was the Lord speaking through Him, I either listened or rejected what I knew was Truth. And it came at the last minute and not a day before when I was crying out, it was when I gave up! Isn't it always that way?
There is a tremendous and continuous amount of hurt day after day. It doesn't matter the premise from which it comes, it just is. My greatest task in this life is to try and keep 'hurt' at just 'hurt', to confess my sins daily and ask for peace before it becomes unforgiveness before they become hate and and deep bitterness. The deep seeds of the latter are much harder to pull up from the roots and when the growth from them are cut off, the roots are still there. So I confess yes, I've let hurt become unforgiveness and then become hate and bitterness, but I have a Lord who loves me regardless and if we allow Him, He will dig up the deepest of the roots. I release 'hurt' and 'pain' to Him and if there are those deep roots I ask Him to show me that I may ask for forgiveness for complete and total healing.
This is what the Lord wants for us all....to be set free.
And I don't want to leave without adding, the way to healing is to express your hurt, your anger and your pain. We don't have to be afraid of these, we can come out on the other side with forgiveness and loving kindness.
Ephesians 4: 26 "Be angry, and do not sin": do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil. 28 Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2035/2209253209_de28445e12_m.jpg
Video & Song
'Inside Out' Hillsong United
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2bXfNj3dvk&feature=related
His Heart My Heart Your Heart
Continuously joined together, going on without interruption.
One continuous expression of love.
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