September 30, 2008 I, We, You

I, We, You

'Teresa, wake up'

'I am here Lord. Just wanting to hear from You.'
'Abide in Me, I abide in you. We are one'. 'Go'.

I am an overcomer, by His blood, by His name. Yes, I have a choice to be fully awake and hear His voice, His gentle, still, quiet voice.

This time in the morning I must be careful that even in this typing and writing that I don't lose sight and become busy in the still of the morning. It is the only time there is total quiet. It is my recorded time with the Lord, my communion with Him. Thank you Lord.

It hadn't seemed necessary lately for me to explain what my blogs are about. From time to time I have stated it is my morning time, my heart with His heart and I am sharing my heart with you. A way to connect us in communion. This is my time searching for Him and His truth, as I reach out to Him His love is overflowing, together we can reach out to each other and then 'go' and encourage and reach out to others.

We are together, there is no separation ever. You may be there and I may be here but we are together. If I use 'we' terms it is because 'we' means together. If I use 'I' terms it is personalized, inviting you to enter where I am, where my heart is. If I use 'you' terms it is still 'us' because 'I' 'go' and join 'you' and then it becomes 'we'. There is no separation between 'you' or 'me'. I never use 'you' as a way to be condescending. There is never an intention of 'talking down to readers.' because once again, this is me, sharing my life with you. Everything that I share is something that I am at this moment experiencing or re-experiencing.

I am my own worst critic or enemy or fully awake and see in this moment, that I am more than a conqueror, made in His image, fearfully and wonderfully made, because He is with me, not because I am anything or something, because without Him, I am nothing.


http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2395/1589027555_b5e42f17d1_m.jpg


Video & Song
'We Have Overcome' Israel Houghton
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTncyfLYDkI&feature=related

September 29, 2008 Our Space

Our Space

We have our space wherever we go. Even though it has been said, we can't be in two places at one time, we certainly try don't we? Why do we compete for other space? The earth has room for everyone in it at any given time. Think about it, it's what causes families to break up, marriages to break up, government and economic collapse and wars. Space, who's space it is anyway? From the beginning of creation quarrels have been from competing for space. Even the angels wanted God's space.

Where you are right now, are you content with your space? Or are you competing with someone to take theirs? Do you envy someone because of theirs? Or jealous that someone is going to take yours?

What unbelievable peace there is when we respect each other's space, just where they are without trying to take from or change or control anyone. Just respect, love and in awe of our brother or sister. Because when we go beyond the respecting and loving the person, what is left are 'things' and competing for things, isn't that coveting?

To go back we either operate in Love or Fear. What are we afraid of?

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And here's one, I so respect Greg and Rebecca's space and gifts.

Here's one of the songs from last night's church service. What a great song!!

Video & Song

'God With Us' Mercy Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05Y-Px39cm4

September 28, 2008 I Am The Way

I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.

When the earth shakes and tries to swallow us up, hang onto Him you won't fall in, but there is still hope if you do.

Sometimes it takes the earth 'world' to open up so we run to the only source and cry out to Him for help. But don't look back at the destruction which has occurred or is occurring you might turn into a pillar of salt that is worthless to season anyone's life including your own.

If we choose to do it on our own, make our own choices, live our own life in pride, to hide guilt and shame, the 'world' is on standby ready to swallow us up. There is only One Way to life, the only Way to safety, and there still is hope after we fall in. When we lay at the bottom of the earth 'world' we can still look up. Who falls in and who doesn't? We all fall in at various times of our lives and when we do He holds out His hand for us to grab on, He is always there, every single time we fall in the hole.

The Son was lifted up to His Father in order that we may live. Now we together can be lifted up to Him and be a family together. Jesus says (this came to me in modern vernacular) 'Let Me introduce you to My Father, My Dad, I love My Dad, to get to My Dad you have to go through Me first, I am the door.'

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2303/2186984061_dcc4a2b0a1_m.jpg

Oh man this is beautiful!!

Video & Song

'Lord, You Have My Heat' Delirious

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZ6oNDPP8HA&feature=related

September 27, 2008 Hidden Treasure

Hidden Treasure

In an archeological dig when the soil or earth is removed it isn't put back, it is taken away until the treasure is found. And when the treasure is found there is a gentle washing to reveal its beauty.

We sing songs to our God, praises to His name, glorifying His name, aboutour one desire to be with Him in Heaven, waiting souls yearning for His gift and ultimate reward of redemption. We sing of His love all day long, His awesomeness which cannot be described, His amazing grace. We know what is coming in the next life, it is our goal and we want it. We are looking forward to the promise that has be revealed to us.

One thing I see missing are songs and praises to Him for what we have 'now' as 'He walks with me and He talks with me'. How did we forget He is here now, that the kingdom of God is at hand? There is a relationship with Jesus and the saints here on earth 'now?. Is it in our desperation to leave our earthly thoughts and earthly bodies that we have forsaken the gift and the treasure which we have 'now'? 'Reach out and touch the Lord as He goes by' is one song, but He wants to do more than just 'walk by', He is yearning to 'come in' and 'be with' us and 'live with' us, have 'communion with' us, to 'stay with' us and help us find our way, 'now'.

With all eyes upward, He is leading us back to find His presence and creation within us, within every human being, every breathing creature, every beautiful bit of His creation. Even the rocks cry out and bring forth living water and reveal His creative miracle.

We are an army of brothers and sisters crying and hurting and desperate and yes we still love the Lord, we still seek His face and deeply desire Him. How amazingly beautiful, it doesn't mean you don't love Him because you have hidden shame and darkness that cannot be conquered, because we must be constantly redirected to Christ to be 'more than' a conqueror to be able to overcome evil with good. He meets us there in the depth of suffering and gives us peace in the midst of our storms and pain. It means 'in' our weaknesses He makes us strong.

We are the saints on earth living 'single' lives, side by side in our homes, on the streets and highways and in the pews with a global vision, a heavenly vision and lose sight of each other because of the speed we fly by each other day after day. We do things for each other, hug, teach, walk with, eat with, at incredible speed but what about sing of our love for one another, really sit in the depth of hearts connecting and breathing with each other, crying with each other, maybe just not speak at all, just 'truly be' with each other.

What if we just stopped all the 'doing for' and just 'be with'? This sounds to me like heaven on earth.

Matthew 6:21 For where your treasure is , there will your heart be also.



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Video & Song
'Every Man' Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7-mbBlwiqY&NR=

September 26, 2008 What is Within

What is Within

How amazing we are!! Really amazing!! We are beautiful, wonderfully made, living, breathing, mechanisms, organisms, physical power houses of everything we need for life, to live and have life more abundantly. Even after we have abused, damaged, neglected our bodies, an amazing rejuvenating function brings continuous new life.

I would watch runners and joggers and walkers start from completely sedentary lives and finish a marathon after 6 month of training. I cannot forget the awesomeness of seeing healing of all kinds of bodies, obese, out of breath, almost unable to walk a single block, finish 26.2 miles in less than 6 hours of walking or jogging. Then there were the elite runners, in amazement my eyes would tear watching them as they flew by with an unbelievable agility, speed and totally anaerobic or 'without oxygen' finishing the same marathon in almost 2 hours.

Our body is an incredible functioning machine totally depending on God for our next breath. The the function of a single cell, one of the 10 trillion cells, every breath, every movement, every function is involuntary completely depending on its Creator.

We are fearfully and wonderfully made, created in His image. We are glorious soul first within a magnificent body, not a magnificent body first and a glorious soul within. Without the soul this body dies and is shed off like an encapsulating chrysalis. What is happening within us regenerates, restores and brings us new life.

A beautiful symphony of an awesome creation within us.

Amazing video of cell reproduction.

https://www.pond5.com/stock-footage/186485/cells-life.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSasTS-n_gM&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ukPD4G5eSw&feature=related

And to see what is within us

Video

Laminin, Louie Giglio

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsvPa0dsZzE&feature=related


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Video & Song

'Indescribable' Chris Tomlin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKBZuz_s8iw&feature=related

September 25, 2008 Light or Money

Light or Money

Matthew 6:19."Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, were moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20.But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 22. "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! 24. "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

Now how did that get in there? Moths, rust, thieves we know destroy, but light and darkness?

What do we see? What is important? Do we go through life storing up 'things' that really mean nothing but the need for more?

During and right after Ike came through, there was no power, no water, no way of communication, no way of transportation, because if you had a full tank of gas in your car the freeways were gridlock and if you didn't have gas there was none to be found because the pumps were off.

Then at night something in the city of Houston that is an impossible thing to experience, no lights, total darkness, no sound because the insects had been blown to San Antonio or Dallas. You couldn't see your hand in front of your face. It was amazing what a small candle light could produce in the darkness.

In San Marcos when you go down on the tour in the caverns you come to a space where they turn off the lights, it is so dark that you literally can't see your hand in front of your eyes not matter how hard you focus, then one small light comes on and illuminates the entire cave. It is amazing how light disperses and fills up where darkness use to be. Amazing!!

The treasures meant nothing to us after the storm, both millionaires and homeless were the same for a time, we were the same in the wake of the storm. We were given eyes to see. 'Things' which had been collected, stored, vaulted, treasured, not even money nor even things sentimental could feed us or help us find our way.

It was light and water and food and gas that were most desired. In the stillness of the night it was light that was most desired.

In this scripture where is the light? Whose light is most desired? Who or what is most important? Where are our hearts? It's amazing, it takes a storm to show us treasures on earth are really worthless when Light is all that is needed.


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Video & Song
'Marvelous Light' Charlie Hall
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oA2ka7tnh8

September 24, 2008 The Ultimate Question

The Ultimate Question

Psalm 100:3
Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

John 10:27
My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me

There is nothing surreal about this. There are no gimmicks, no ventriloquism, no phone call nor can we call Him on the phone (it sure would be nice though). There is no huge mouth in the clouds every time we need direction or that we just look up and have an answer.

This is real, man listening and talking and walking with God. This is God listening, talking and walking with man. We can hear His voice, the still soft voice, through His Word, through others, through messengers, through experiencing and being aware of the beauty of all His creation. He speaks to us in the wind, through an ass, through angels, in a burning bush, from a cross.

So here's the question. Why don't we listen? Are we too busy, too preoccupied, too self centered, too surrounded by distractions. It is our choice to listen or not to listen. What we hear is not always what we expect, it isn't always loaded with abundance of 'things', because His voice asks that ultimate question after He says 'follow me', the next question is 'will you die for Me' a question that no other man can answer but you.

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Video & Song

'Crucified With Christ' Phillips Craig & Dean
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25wG9C0s1kA

September 23, 2008 Expressing Emotions

Expressing Emotions

I'm Back!!!

I assume you are too. We've been through a great storm and back. And even if damage was minimal I'm sure we have been changed.

There is no holding back with our emotions during devastations, and it is good to have an opportunity to express it all. We feel abandoned, helpless, forgotten and what comes with this is necessary. Where did we ever think or why have we been taught it is not a good thing to have all our emotions. To be angry, sad, to have feelings that come under the category of 'negative'. The charge is necessary. Emotions are purging.

Rather, what I am seeing is the stifling of emotions whether anger or joy, sadness or happiness, which may be for the person or persons doing the stifling to keep from feeling their own pain, their own joy, their own happiness.

What ever made us think it was okay to walk around with pain inside, especially when no on is offering to listen to it, then pretend it's not there with a smile on our faces. And the church is one place this happens, when it should be the one place we can be real.

I heard this scenario and you may have also.

A family was getting ready for church, the mom and dad hurrying, began to scream and cuss at each other because they were running late, Screaming at the children and cussing all the way to church. They park the car, still screaming, they get out of the car and walk to the doors of the church and upon entering the church the greeters say, 'Good morning, how are you today?', They answer immediately with a joyful tone, 'Oh we are so blessed, thank you very much, Praise God!'

Now I'm one if you tell a story as it goes through me the grapevine here will never get it right. So if you have heard this and it is a little different, you get my point which is very clear and true, we are not real and truthful or allowed to be real or truthful.

God created us and knows us better than we know ourselves. The expression of our emotions brings healing to our souls and bodies as well. No wonder we are boiling pots of hypertension, and other related diseases when anger is kept inside. What if we did have a safe place to express our deep pain and emotions, a place of real catharsis?

This week it is both an honor and humbling to feel the call to begin a Love Machine at Starbucks on 43rd at 290W next to PetCo at 6:30pm. It is time, the experience with Love Machine has been healing for Ken and I and my desire is to share this healing. I thank Jim Spivey for hearing the Lord's call to begin a place that anyone can come and be real. A place which I see is filled with the presence of His Holy Spirit as He comes and connects us one to another, in one accord and one spirit. Well, Love Machine is a group, it is all inclusive, there is no plan, no agenda, just the leading of the Holy Spirit. It is a place where we can be real to express deep pain and deep joy and what a beautiful thing that happens as healing begins to take place.

And even if you don't have a place to go and be real, find a close friend who will allow you to be yourself to express it all, a friend who will listen more than talk and then in turn you be that person for them.

Really, come as you are, not just the way you are dressed.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3017/2475828437_554c684451_m.jpg

Please listen, this song perfectly expresses
what Love Machine is about.

Video & Song

'I Will Carry You' Michael W. Smith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMZj0520v0g&feature=related

September 20, 2008 Harvest, Bread & Manna

Harvest, Bread & Manna

I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. Psalm 37

As encouragement to anyone who is giving completely of their lives to serve and love unconditionally leaving their nets to follow Jesus, going out with only what they have on their backs, becoming a living sacrifice and believing for today and not tomorrow, staying open to all encounters as messengers from God for hearts connecting and our own personal growth to love extravagantly regardless of the superficial appearance and words that cut and hurt on the surface, to go deeper than deep to the core and heart of every living being, reaching and touching and communicating on a spiritual level that is available always to anyone who seeks the Truth that we all may be healed completely heart, mind and soul within ourselves, in our families and in others, with radical expression of compassion bringing about healing beyond our comprehension because comprehension deals with the mind and the mind cannot fathom the open paths to His Light and Truth alone, it is only by His Holy Spirit we 'begin' to understand, we walk not knowing the future of our path, as we go out to spread the good news and open to all possibilities which come our way as divine direction, God will supply, He will meet every need, we will not be able to calculate or measure, our minds once again will not be able to comprehend the height, the depth and the breadth of His sustenance for He will give us His abundant bread instead of a stone. We ask of Him and He will always supply. We walk by faith and not by sight.

We are living in the days of manna once again. We are living in the days of Noah, we are living in the days when His Holy Spirit is being poured out on all mankind. He is gathering together an army with a heart like His who are willing to completely die for His cause. He is gathering together those willing to go out into the fields for they are white, the harvest is ready and just in time, the season is here.

We are blessed, amply supplied, every need, every path, every sought direction. We cannot see beyond 'now' but 'now' is sufficient and the past is no more and the future will take care of itself.

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Video & Song

'Tears of The Saints' Leeland

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jg1jBuInMqA&feature=related

September 19, 2008 We Do Love

We Do Love

There are not many things that disrupts our lives like storms. And when devastation comes, love shows up every time.I guess one of the most powerful and life changing occurrences after the storm is we are taking the time to love our neighbors. I love it!! When government fails and transportation is impossible, when everyone is reduced to the same place and money has no power and 'things' mean nothing, this is a place of real healing, real love shows up. My only thought to share this morning is to ask everyone to please hold on to loving your neighbor, 'seeing' your neighbor, not to let a few weeks go by and close your doors never to 'see' them again. One thing Ike truly did for me, I slowed down to experience and 'see' and love my neighbor as myself and have no doubt you did the same.

Ike brought healing rain.

Luke 10:25.On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" 26. "What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?" 27. He answered: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" 28."You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live." 29. But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?" 30. In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. 35. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.' 36. "Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?" 37. The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him." Jesus told him,"Go and do likewise."

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Video & Song
'Healing Rain' Michael W. Smith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31D2g7t5Bjs

September 13, 2008 Ike Knocks at Our Door

Ike Knocks at Our Door

I was asleep but the occasional power surge causes the alarm to go off in the apartment and whoa is it loud!

I was remembering the scripture, it will not come near you and you will see with your eyes (and I'll add hear with your ears as Ike's winds are literally knocking on the door) but it will not come near you. A thousand may fall at your side and ten thousand at your right hand (that is trees today) but it will not come near you; 'no harm will befall you or come near your tent' (home, dwelling, town home, condo, apartment, trailer home etc.); 'Because he loves Me, says the Lord, I will rescue him, I will protect him, for he acknowledges My name'; 'He will cover you with His feathers under His wings'...Oh My God, You are so awesome!!

I know this is a bit fragmented from Psalm 91, but if there ever was a scripture to memorize or ponder in your heart this is one. For me it encompasses so much of what the entire word of God is.

This could be a really long entry because of my spirit in me is steady as a storm roars outside literally. But once again, from my previous entry, 'is there really any difference in a storm or a STORM?'

Where do I go first? The sounds must have been similar as Passover came and the Israelites huddled in their homes listening as death passed by their doors, as they heard the screams because of death. The same thing with Rahab's household as everyone in her home were spared from destruction as their town was annihilated. We are literally spared destruction under the infinite covering of His wings this very day from the winds of Ike. We have His unexplainable, unfathomable covering and protection.

I can't help but remember this profound story in my life. Ken and I were engaged and at that time, only one of two times in my business that I had an office, if that is what you want to call it you will see what I mean in a minute, it wasn't the plush office of my dreams by any means but it was a beginning and I mean a beginning. Another customer of mine at that time when I was freelancing wanted to help me as I was doing illustration and design work for him and he offered for me to start there and let me use the office space. I wasn't in the office complex long in 1980 and there was a fire ( and the blaring alarm goes off again, wow, piercing, and there is no way to disengage it). I went in the following morning and sat in my car in the parking lot, looking at a black as tar fire gutted building. I got out of my car and went in the building, not a person in sight, and walked through the wet dripping building, it was surreal. I walked down the blackness into my office and when I turned the corner my office wasn't touched, how can that be?!!! The entire building was literally gutted but my office had not been touched. At that time one job I was helping with was 'Jesus 1980' and I had just hired a professional photographer to take a transparency photo of the painting of Jesus (Ken and I were just talking about that yesterday) which is approximately 12ft x 12ft located at the St. Nicholas Center done by Fran May (if you've never seen it it in person is so worth a trip, it is breathtaking). The photo transparency was at the time used for the cover for the brochure for 'Jesus 1980' which was held in the 'Summit' where Lakewood Church is at this time. Anyway as I walked through and turned and looked, my office wasn't touched by the fire. The transparency was pinned on a board on the wall and the heat on the walls was so intense it melted the plastic sleeve covering on the transparency but the transparency was not harmed. The paint on the walls had the marks of the black where the fire obviously had stopped. I stood and bawled as I realized what had happened. Oh my things smelled like smoke for a long time but they weren't charred. (and think of this, the Hebrew boys in the fire, God's Word says they didn't even smell like smoke!!)

There certainly is no comparison to a human life and an office, but there is an assurance that your family and home are covered with His wings. Can you experience this? And I love the word pinions it sounds so grand.

So as Ike pounds and knocks with the wind on our door, yes, my door is covered with His love, the shedding of His blood was to show us how much He loved us.

And as you can see we still have electricity, I haven't tried to see what is going on outside my door or anywhere else in Houston by watching tv or the internet and I probably won't, because I have this awesome awareness of His presence right now, I don't need to know what is going on 'out there'. Other than not being able to sleep because of the alarm going off and on with a surge now and then and the wind we are so okay and protected tonight, I am in awe.

Once again this storm as with all storms do bring joy in the morning. There will be a sequel to this blog entry.

To all I know and love, my heart is with you and God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit even more with you.


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Video & Song
'I Will Life My Eyes' Bebo Norman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAHfi4jgc3g&feature=related

September 12, 2008 In our hearts with 'Ike'

What Do We Really Know Ike?!!

There are storms and then there are STORMS. Is there any difference in the size of a storm or is a storm just a storm?

Some think storms are a thrill, some are terrified of them. Amazing what a single storm will do.

There is an eye to a storm, a place of respite (sometimes it doesn't seem like there is one) before the winds come back at you from the opposite direction. Some can't find the eye because they have been moving with the storm so the eye never passes. Woah, Nelly, let me off this ride!!

Thrill, no; terrified no; rest in the eye, yes.


Eye of the hurricane...look at what we can find in the eye...'Son'light...


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Well the lights are already flickering...so until the peace after the storm comes we'll be here with you in our hearts.

Video & Song
'Grace Like Rain' Todd Agnew
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1kULQceVPc&NR=1

September 12, 2008 'Grateful For My Journey'

'Grateful for my journey' a gift from my husband.

This is where Ken and I are now after looking back, after resisting Him and a call to serve completely with a heart like His.

How can I express what has happened in the preparation that led to this day of seeing miracles happen, one with physical eyes, one with spiritual eyes, ones which are unexplainable? It would make us crazy trying to figure it out. It cannot be done with our finite minds.

All I know is I finished the day with, maybe calling it 'raw untamed faith', as I believed and watched without control (which I can be honest and say that I have been very good at, that is - control) what the Lord laid out for my day. Total surrender and watchinng a complete 'turn around' in my life to serve with the same love which I have experienced. To be able to see, what an honor it is to be loved and to return love. WOW. If everyone could see what we really are able to give each other and receive from each other, what infinite gifts. There really are never any apologies for loving or guilt for receiving love. I am not speaking of tangible gifts as an expression of love, but of what cannot be seen which brings infinite transformation.

Only loving, being filled up to overflowing to give more and as it goes out it comes back, and goes out and comes back again. WOW, this is reaping and sowing, this is pressed down, shaken together, this is bread on the water, this is His children never begging for bread, this is God the same yesterday, today and forever because God is Love and Love never changes, He is always the same profound unconditional Love.

As we prepare here in S.E. Texas to be hit by hurricane Ike, it is amazing to see love being passed around. Maybe there needs to be more storms? Hmmm, maybe we would actually take the time to see others and even see ourselves and what we are capable of when there is pending or occurring disaster. What if we could see how absolutely necessary the storms are in our lives to make us stronger? Maybe we wouldn't resist them but really look at them and embrace them to find total and complete peace on the other side of every 'life' storm.

We are His sheep, He cares for His sheep, we have nothing to fear, our Good Shepherd has us completely covered from the storm. When it is over we are still standing and much stronger and able to see the Son more clearly in and out of the storm.

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Lord help me not to forget, You do answer us,
Please keep us all safe through this storm.

Video & Song
'Praise You In This Storm' Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfy4f43Nj3Y&feature=related

September 11, 2008 Your Army

Your Army

I heard You so clear, there was no doubt. But I can't say I wasn't afraid. As Ken and I tried to figure out on our own what it meant that You called us we royally messed up. But now we see. It doesn't mean we aren't afraid, but we have Your Word and other servants of Yours who understand what is happening. We are a mighty army being gathered together to commit 100% of our lives to serving You and serving each other. We are the ones You showed us the depth of what it means to love You with 'all' our heart, mind and soul. We are the ones You showed the depth of what it means to love our neighbor as ourselves. So we commit once again because
Ken and I didn't 100% out of fear that we wouldn't have what we need (materially) missing the fact that You supply 'everything', every need.

It was on January 3, 2008 here's my story. And as my heart connects with His heart, with Him I can connect with your heart. Please pray for us.

January 3, 2008, “4:20”New Year’s morning this was in my heart. Maybe it was prompted from Sunday’s evening message on discipleship. But the Lord clearly took me back to Matthew 4:20 and after hearing and reading this thousands of times I “see” it again, for the first time, and “know” it’s in my heart forever.

At 5am this New Year’s morning it took on a personal meaning. The Lord said to them, “Come follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men”. The verse grabbed me so deeply I knew it is a direct calling for me to “follow Him”, in response to this profound request and actions that follow; 9 simple but forever life changing words, “At once they left their nets and followed Him.”

I have thought my entire Christian walk was this. Now after hitting me in the face with a new light, I have known nothing or experienced nothing regarding this deeper call. It makes my heart pound. This call gives no time for “thinking about it”. “At once”, immediately, now, without hesitation, without confirmation (which by the way was my first thought to wait for confirmation/s pl.). Why would I need confirmation to “follow Him” to this deeper place? And they have already come pl., maybe because I needed them. Have I thought about this deeper calling, ever? Obviously not; in this manner. Maybe because it is a calling; maybe it is because I never took time to listen.

Either way, in the call to “leave our nets” we make ready to press forward in order to bring souls for Christ into His Kingdom. Years ago the scripture “their blood will be on our hands” cut into my spirit as it became clear that everyone is fully loved by God and He wants us to yield as ‘pathways’ to bring them this good news.

The new word already ringing in this New Year - “pathway”. It has taken on a new perspective in the way I look at my husband, the way I look at my sons, my brothers and sisters and acquaintances. They are a pathway for Christ in them and I am a pathway for Christ in me.

What tremendous, glorious and “wonderful” fear when you hear His voice say, “Follow Me”. My heart says, “I am here Lord, show me the way.”

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We must be still, stand, hold fast and behold the Glory of the Lord.
Video & Song
'Still' Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qk8horRi3_E

September 10, 2008 Fearless or Frozen

It doesn't surprise me that one moment I am believing and one moment I am doubting and as I move along my day there is only One Anchor that holds me together so I don't totally lose heart.

As I have felt His direction, yes, even when all the doors are closed in a dark room and I am desperately looking for a sliver of light under one door to be able to say, ah,that's it. But when all the doors are closed and I stand there needing to make a decision The Lord says to me, "this time it's your choice, you choose, don't be afraid, I'll meet you on the other side of the door. You will only see the light when youopen the door and walk through it. Hold Fast, I am with You, Don't give up I will supply your every need, continue to walk in My light and you will see My plan for you. You do have a choice to make. I have given you a choice of life and death, choose life, My Life. You do have a choice to choose Me."Which will you choose?'

The temptations of this world are constantly knocking on the door with a louder knock,making it harder to hear His still soft voice. The call for reaching and touching livesis stronger than the loud voices saying 'go after the easy way, money will get you back whereyou want to be, it will get you back everything you lost, you can have it all.'

What if our doubting is our only obstacle? How can we control circumstances, ever?To wait on the Lord brings strength. To wait on the Lord is Heaven on Earth.

Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint

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Video & Song

'God With Us' Mercy Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8eOGhLzuVA&feature=related

September 9, 2008 To Lose Our Lives

To Lose Our Lives

Ever ponder the paths we cross, our encounters, acquaintances, friends, deep heart connections, and those that make life changing experiences, influencing change and vision in our lives?

Human beings touching lives with a connection that is deeper than our perception, with healing. There are no coincidences, no haphazard acquaintances. Every precious life that crosses our path is a reflection of us, to help guide us to seek more deeply into our own hearts.

This is what makes this life worth living....to touch lives.
We lose our lives first for each other, then the sick will be healed and the dead will be raised.

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

See it clearly...


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Video & Song
'Inside Out' Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwJEdo1FlMo

August 8, 2008 Keep Going

Keep Going

We pray and ask and believe God and it seems as though He doesn't answer... then something happens that is so illuminated and clear that we say, 'You really did answer. You really did direct my steps, You really wanted me to do this, You really did open a door'. The amazing thing is it is never in our planning of anything that this happens.

If we walk in faith, the way will open up with our step by step forward movement. Oh, I guess there are times it falls in our lap, but it's the walk, the action of moving into 'things not seen'. Because we cannot see until we are right smack dab in the middle of 'the evidence' the clearly illuminated evidence of the 'things hoped for' or the clarity in the moment of how our steps are ordered.

Hebrews 11:1 Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.

It is so easy to lose our focus. As long as we stay focused on the things of the Lord we don't need to worry about what we 'see' or 'don't see'. His eyes watch over us and guide us and are the only direction that is completely sure and never failing.

Help us God to not fear the 'things not seen' help us to walk in Your light.

Psalm 37:23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, And He delights in his way.

You are so close, keep going don't stop, don't give up, you're almost there, the way will be clear, you will see the Way.

WOW!

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Video & Song
'Sometimes by Step' Rich Mullins/Bebo Norman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbbtOlo_zj0&feature=related

September 7, 2008 Haughtiness and Pointing the Finger

Haughtiness and Pointing the Finger



I try not to think much about all the political pomp, the promises, the over glorified presence, because that can be unreliable.
It is not for me to, nor is it realistic for me to think I have any control over what anyone says and does. But my concern is the possible haughtiness that is raising its ugly head in the church (people who say they love the Lord).

The sickness of the over influencing media twisted bias reflects and projects to a 'perceived' majority. Inflating and digging for 'dirt' on the opponent, arch enemy, rival, nemesis are 'the other ones who don't agree with us', a more serious part and really a deeper grieving part of this and what I am beginning to see and understand, this is truly what 'grieves' the Holy Spirit. Political agenda, good, we need it all out in the open for the purpose of running the nation, to make choices, and please keep it coming. But they shove the name calling, grabbing for slander as their (make it clear, media) focus for us to base our decision. The agenda has become over years so polluted with personal scandal it is hard to focus on what is needed for our nation and who really is truthful.

I will use this an an example to see the bitterness of destruction from those saying they love the Lord, and how hate (remembering the premise is fear) permeates from just words which we so haphazardly speak in the open to those around us. During the tsunami one person said, 'God punished them because of their persecution of Christians'. From what I understand the Lord says, 'we will always have', not just one incident. Where is the end to haughtiness, what about...' ', 'anywhere', including the United States, fill in the blank, the pointing of the finger is endless. Thank You God that Your grace is endless!!

One of my favorite scriptures is such a profound direction of how we as God's people should live our lives within several paragraphs. In Isaiah 58, and it goes on to to say' If you remove the yoke from your midst..(yes bitterness and hate is a burden) the pointing of the finger and speaking wickedness"...(but instead love and help each other, focus on this) and feed those hungry, satisfy the afflicted, be a light in darkness, (the results are beautiful) 'your gloom will be come like midday, He will continually guide you, satisfy you in scorched places, give strength to your bones, you will be like a watered garden, the ruins will be rebuilt, the foundations will rise up, You will repair the breach, be the restorer in the streets...to name only a few. Ultimately we will find healing in ourselves. When my eyes were opened to this it almost made me fall out of my chair. We speak corruption, blame, hate bitterness, unforgiveness, in such a way that our own country is suffering, because we are suffering. One cannot stand without the other. We need to look within ourselves first and what we should really be doing.


So I ask you please, please we need to see and open our hearts to see the haughtiness of our thoughts. Please, please, please be careful of the spewing of hate everywhere we go. To be careful to weigh what we are doing by example even more so. There is always talk about revival, it cannot happen if we are afraid of our own truth. True 'revival' happens when individuals are willing to do everything necessary even dying, becoming vulnerable and then dropping fear little by little as the cement is chiseled away from our broken hearts and then allowing God to remold it into a heart like His. I am speaking for myself as well.

Psalm 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 13 Then (and only then, my addition) I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you.


Let's be careful, 'pointing the finger'. Weigh everything with love. There is never 'them' versus 'us', only 'we'. We have a choice to win hearts for the Lord and there is no faking love. Maybe this is too idealistic, but I am willing to try and risk my life for it.

And at 3:00 this morning after tossing and turning and fighting with God to get up and type what I heard, promisinig I would remember, He won. Here is what I heard...

"The answer for EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING is LOVE."


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I love this song
Video & Song
'Still' Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2aM4HUbzlo&feature=related

September 6, 2008 Rewind, Fast Forward

Rewind, Fast Forward

It came to me, wouldn't it be great if we could take our lives and rewind and retape over it when necessary? Just think we could edit, dub and create an illusion of a perfect life. Then it came to me that everything in our life, pain, abuse, joy, happiness are absolutely unavoidable and can be a source of healing for our present. The past only is the beginning of our story, to be continued to a final end (no... beginning) of our complete real life story.

I say often these days that I kick and scream (like a 2 year old) with God sometimes when I don't get my way. The thought, what a hoot! When I've gone to Him and ask 'why, why, why, wah, wah, wah'. Then I realize my need to say 'forgive me' about my bad choices, 'thank you' for getting me through it all and then finally coming to a place where I can say, 'here I am Lord, I am willing to give it all to You, please use me, please, please, please. Then getting to see despite my past what He is doing.

One incredible miracle is to see it happening in the process and to see love rise up and let it grow until all the fear is gone.

'Take 2'; 'Take 3' to look at our responses or reactions and let love rise up from our hearts to do what it is meant to do, which will bring amazing healing every time, all around us.
Perfect love casts out all fear. And with this understanding is peace regardless of where we've been or what we've done and where we blindly go, or what is going on now, or ever. And we don't need to edit or dub anything, because every shameful, painful, hurtful thing of lives will be replace with Perfect Love and that is the Truth in our real life story.


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Video & Song
'Voice of Truth' Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuH1faTC22E&feature=related

September 5, 2008 There's No Risk to Serve and Give

There's No Risk to Serve and Give

Risk:–verb; to expose to the chance of injury or loss; hazard: to risk one's life.

What risk is it to go across the desert with a caravan as opposed to the risk of doing the same thing with water in your hand.

It was an ego thing with me in the past as it seemed clear to me I could do it all. And thrived on risk taking. Maybe not to the degree of major investments in corporation but huge to me. As I started up several small businesses in my adult life, and thinking it was in my blood from a young girl to 'make money'. And as a young girl it was still abnormal for a woman to think about any career other than secretary. I was primed to be a 'secretary' if any work was considered. I broke out of the molding as I fought for what I knew was my gift. And I thought if I used my gift, surely it was a gift from God to make lots of money using it. Right?

Risk; I loved taking chances and still do. I changed my focus and took only small risks, as other precious responsibilities as the birth of my sons minimized and took away my grandiose vision of a huge ad agency. Yes, I can take risks and make leaps and walk blindly sometimes. There is one 'risk' which really isn't a risk at all, it comes by serving others and walking by faith and not by sight.

As a possible real life scenario when there is nothing left at all, when the bills are late, the kids are sick, the car is broken down, the weather is stormy with flood warnings, the refrigerator is empty (and the pantry is too), it is time to go into the desert without the caravan. Because our God, our Father who cares for us doesn't give us a stone or a snake, but 'out of this world' gourmet bread to eat and 'designer' clothes to wear more beautiful than the lilies, He covers us with His wings which are more glorious and magnificent than any of the greatest palaces we could live in.

What ever made us think that happiness is tied up in money, that we have a padded bank account, savings, impressive portfolio of tangible and/or other money market investments? Is this really our ultimate answer?

What would it be like if we dropped everything we are doing and go out with nothing but the clothes on our backs and ask the Lord to lead us to where He wants us to be. Not very practical is it, not logical, most would think it's crazy.What would really happen? Are we too comfortable to leave the security of money and things? God forbid we should go this far? To sell everything we have that everyone in our communities would have no need? Didn't they do that in Acts? Wonder what the outcome was? I think it said 'there was no need among them'. But you see they had to be in agreement, one heart, one spirit. (I am stirred up with these two different versions as they mean two completely different things to me. Acts 4; the NIV interjected 'from time to time' while all the others makes no mention at all that their giving was sporadic.) How in the world will we ever know? In our vast comfort zones, nestled in a country that really doesn't have any reason for us to come to our knees until there is devastation. Then when that happens we get to understand love and compassion and salvation through devastation for a moment. Then we have eyes to see with and ears to hear with. What would we have eyes to see and ears to hear? Each other.

I guess if we could and would, we really would be 'exposed' and vulnerable, and the risk would only be our illusive lives so we could give away our real lives and really live.

Matthew 6 These were his instructions: "Take nothing for the journey except a staff--no bread, no bag, no money in your belts."

Remember God asked Moses 'what is in your hand?' This is not a credit card commercial asking 'what is in your wallet? It was a staff...It was a staff! We really are on a journey so take your staff; don't leave home without it. Did I quote a commercial again? Sorry, I couldn't help it.

Silver and gold have I none, but what I have I give to you. Rise and walk

Nothing holds us back but fear.


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Beautiful Song from Chronicles of Narnia
'CS Lewis Song' Brooke Fraser
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0H7d9mYEBA

September 4, 2008 Cry & Laugh, Laugh & Cry

Cry & Laugh, Laugh & Cry

Along with the great need to cry out to God with a broken heart, which I am experiencing the beauty and healing in this, I encourage you to do the same, 'to allow it to get as big as it needs to get', it really is okay, GOD UNDERSTANDS and is waiting on the other side of your tears.

What a way to be liberated, that is through tears. So many of us had been conditioned, especially men (as I hear you), to not cry. But many of us women were as well. Men and women both through the need of feeling responsible for others, abuse to stifle the expression of crying are a couple of reasons which I understand. Crying is God given and so absolutely necessary. Our lives depend on it.

I am seeing more these days as I reach out and 'give my life away' women who cannot cry. What happened? How did it come to this? It is from the above reasons and I'm sure many other reasons. Really, I think it has always been just as hard for women to cry (maybe) as men, just a thought at this point. Maybe we have thought the crying flowed freely in women because of movie sensationalism as a way to make fun of her or for her love sick heart.

Maybe the stifling of crying came out of projected shame? Maybe it came from living in a big city where there is no place to go without others thinking we're crazy? Maybe we just need them to think we are to allow it to happen? It doesn't seem David had a problem. I don't think he went out into the wilderness to cry although some did as John the Baptist and I'm sure it was crying along with a loud voice.

Psalm 55:17 Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.

Psalm 130:1 Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord

Recently or should I say since January as I laid my life down for the Lord to remold me and take me through His refining fire, I've had the unbelievable liberating experience of allowing myself to scream as loud as I could (that is in my car, the closest thing to an insulated environment) flowing immediately into an uncontrollable laugh because it seemed so funny afterwards and then (sorry for the run on sentences) more recently being able to laugh literally until I cried. This occurred as a result of laughing to cover up the crying and once recognized (allowed to) the uncontrollable laugh flowed into a deep sobbing.

So I'll say today, please cry, please laugh, please sob, not just for others but for yourself and together we will find out what it is like to 'let it get as big as it needs to get'. We will see the healing process in action, when everything it took to hold it all in to create havoc on us, will be everything it takes to let it all out. A true catharsis to healing experience.

Maybe someone could create a safe place, like a sound proof room for those who are ready to experience this catharsis? Do you think I'm joking?

And for some reason, probably my age as I approach 54 this month, yikes, many old tunes are coming to my mind. Here's one of them and believe it or not this use to be one of my favorite oldies to listen to on the way to high school, yikes again!

...another new experience for me, if I really look I can see God everywhere.

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Video & Song'I Never Promised You A Rose Garden' Lynne Anderson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdSnwufjKtc

September 3, 2008 Pondering and Seeing With the Heart

There is so much on my heart it is hard to choose what to say first.

After being stripped and led into the refining fire which burns off the 'ego-self', and reveals the trapped 'spirit-self', the heart of our being, we can allow all that needs to happen, happen. Here are a couple of thoughts from the past given to me and have come to me again with perfect timing. If you have received these from me it is worth repeating.

'Let it get as big as it needs to get', thank you Connie. This has become a place where it shouldn't be a fearful thing to die to oneself as much as needed. Notice I said 'shouldn't' meaning I am willing. Especially after looking at why there is the need to hold it all together or the illusion that I am able to do so.

'When is it okay not to be okay?' which came to me as I see the struggles of myself and individuals around me trying to find answers. People who love the Lord and are always searching for His truth. I see a message being given that we need to be perfect, we need to have it all together. I don't see this as a faith walk, looking as though we have it all together has nothing to do with faith. Faith being the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11) is the present into the future walk.

The past to the present is to look at it again for purpose of being transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12) and then allowing God to love us in spite of our past (and our present), and then take His love to others.

Faith does come by hearing and 'hearing' by the Word of God. (Romans 10) The ability to hear comes through the living (that is alive) Word of God, we cannot fully hear, fully see, fully feel on our own. We cannot have faith on our own.

David pondered His Word, and it became a beautiful conversation with God, in his heart. A place beyond carnal knowledge, in the heart; the stripped heart with deep understanding, (this is not the 'knowing' which is of the mind) from sympathy to empathetic compassion which explodes out of the core of our being to touch and reach and set free those captive, those who's hearts are still cemented. Because somehow the pulse of ever beating heart is in rhythm and understands deeply why we are here, more than our mind ever will.

It is love, because once we experience unconditional love which transforms us, we want to please God, then continually being transformed in our minds and with new hearts, we come to a place where we want to continually please God and do His will.

Faith, hope and love comes from God and His infinite, resounding Word can be hidden in my heart, it is here that I desire to 'not sin against Thee'. We cannot do anything on our own power. We are desperate humans looking for the Way, through our hearts not our minds.

Love Never Fails. The premise is love. The end is love.

Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. 3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

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Video & Song
'Lifesong' Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaia32TsPq0&feature=related

September 2, 2008 Sublimity in Suffering

Sublimity in Suffering

When my father failed me, or my husband failed me, or my wife failed me, or my sister failed me, or my brother failed me, or I failed me, or anyone failed me, it is not You.

“God, how can we reconcile this need of pain with our effort to abolish all
misery?”
The answer seemed convincing to me:
“If you abolish. the physical suffering of the world, there will still be disappointed love, yearnings which cannot be satisfied, which will leave hearts bleeding even as they do today. Mansions have as many burning hearts as do poor houses. The things which drag men down to grossness and incessant selfishness must be wiped out. Then hearts will become sore over infinitely larger things than selfish needs. They will learn to bleed for a world with the heart of Jesus.” There will be more suffering than today, for only love knows how to suffer divinely. But the meanness of suffering for one's own selfish disappointments will be gone, and we will see a magnificence and sublimity in suffering that will make us glad. ___ Letters by a Modern Mystic, by Frank Laubach

What is meant for evil is always meant for good. In suffering we do find a magnificence and sublimity with You that is not possible in constant happiness out of selfish want, of which always brings about the worst in us.

Genesis 50: 19 But Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in God’s place? 20 “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. 21 “So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

As Joseph forgave, we find forgiveness and a way to forgive, we literally are given a lifetime to choose. We are each other's cross, we are to take up our cross and follow Him. And we thought it is only about us.

Psalm 27:7 Hear my voice when I call, O Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. 8 My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, Lord, I will seek. 9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior. 10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. 11 Teach me your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. 12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence. 13 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

The above is from an evangelist in Philippines to his father in the 1930's. It is timeless, compiled into a short book is his walk with searching for a deeper relationship with God. It couldn't have come at a more perfect time for me. Here is the file online if you wish to read it.
http://www.cfointernational.org/pdf/Letters%20By%20A%20Modern%20Mystic.pdf

Also if you have time read here is a quick biography review in wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Laubach

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Video & Song
'Wonderful Cross' Michael W. Smith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9oIJUK8QLA&feature=related