January 18, 2009 Feeling Within My Family

Feeling Within My Family

Yesterday afternoon it hit me, we work so hard not to feel. The journey to open up our hearts has been longer than I could imagine (but only by looking at my age :-)

I was talking to my son Josh about us as a family. We shared the things we had talked about and planned together over the years; travel, eating, sports, being with people, being with other family, going to church, games, computers, work, building and making a home, cars, jobs, the mundane, school, even God's Word.....but we realized we never shared deep heart to heart feelings from and to each other.

We love each other and say it often, but there is this side of communicating that was missing, the deep heart communicating. Maybe over time we become even fearful of fear. Fear has no power over us unless we give it power. Where is the heart? Not the mind. Where is love felt? Not the mind. Where is feeling? Not the mind. I really liked what a former pastor said last Sunday at my church to describe this very thing. He called it our 'knower'-mind and our 'experiencer'-heart and that is so true.

My son Jesse and I shared late last night with each, Josh had gone back home and Ken went to bed, diving into seeking more about this question, 'why is it so hard to express feeling?" 'why is it harder to express deep hurt/pain feelings with family members?' Or anyone else? We discussed how we can't find our feelings by talking about others as a way to divert or avoid our fears. We also talked about how to distinguish between that line of exposing our fears and hiding our fears under masks or facades of things like backbiting, gossiping an accusing which isn't always easily recognized.

When we've stayed in the congnitive process as a means to fight or should I say bulldoze our way through life, for whatever reason, the path to our heart becomes dull or short circuits. But thank God, He has given us infinite chances to re-connect the path, both within ourself and with others.

What an amazing day, one that I 'feel' today. And for true healing to happen and extend past our own doors it is beautiful to begin within me and with my amazing family.

Perfect Love Casts Out All Fear.
God is Love.
His Love Endures Forever.